Mood:  caffeinated

My First Love
Chapter Tolv

By: Goth

Justin

Today was like any other day but it wasn't. My waking moments lifted the fog of my dreams and the realization of what today was began weighing on my mind. Today was the day of my Mom's trial. My mind began whirling with the what if's? The morning crept by in silence as we both got ready. I was too ashamed to look my Mom in the face, afraid to see that look of hatred that I was sure would be plastered on her face.

"Justin we need to leave in fifteen minutes, no horsing around."

"I'm almost ready, just need to put my shoes on." I said looking at my socked feet.

"Ok." was her reply. The drive downtown was even more silent, not even her crappy country music played to silent my mind. Which was still pulsing with what if's, what if she is put in jail? Will I be put in a home? Will I ever see her again? Then they turned to hatred of myself. Why couldn't I have been silent? Why did I squeal and ruin my life? Why couldn't I have been stronger just for a few more years?

I was relieved when she pulled up to a parking meter, she gave me a few quarters to throw in the meter. The bustling downtown got my thoughts onto other things, I looked in shops, and at the buildings which seemed to tower above me. This area was clean unlike a lot of the downtown area. It didn't take long before we were in front of the court house.

The whole prospect of this all seemed, foreign why should we be here? He hurt her too. It wasn't just me it was both of us and when it counted she helped. I walked in behind her head down, hating myself again for putting us here. The floor was marble, in some spots it was discolored, it made me think of irony, like seeing the world in black and white with shades of grey. This was one of those damn grey areas the teachers warn us about where it doesn't look right or wrong. Was it right that she should be punished for not leaving him? Or should she be forgiven for her weakness? Would I leave Billie if he hit me?

She did whatever she needed to do at the desk and told me to follow. We went to the elevators and went up to the third floor. Once there we walked down a corridor to the end. There were a few more people sitting in the corridor waiting, as we began to as well. There seemed to be two to three families, and I noticed the children were always called in first then sent out to retrieve their parents.

I waiting impatiently, worried out of my mind. Until finally I was called in. I was expecting something you'd see on T.V. a bunch of people in the seats. A jury, lawyers, but it was mostly barren. A bailiff stood guard, and a lawyer was present. The judge was already sitting in her chair.

"Justin?"

I remembered what my mother told me to say, "Yes your honor."

"Do you know why your here?"

"Well kinda."

"I've looked through your mother's case file, and your fathers. I have a few questions I need to ask you, and I need you to promise you will tell me the full truth. Your old enough to be sworn in so we will begin the process."

I felt like protesting, hating the bible even more because of my father but I touched it and said the oath I was required. "Now, I would like to know if your Mother has ever hurt you?"

"No, never! Only my Dad. Please don't put my Mom in jail, I was mad at her too but I don't want her to be in trouble she really did try to help me."

"Calm down, I promise I'll be as fair as I am to anyone else. How often were you hit?"

My mind told me to lie, "Not that often," I said looking down at my feet.

"Can you please elaborate, would you say, daily? Or would you say weekly, was it more than once a day? Maybe every other day?"

"Just a couple times a month." I lied again. "Only when he'd get too drunk."

"Justin I have read your psychiatric evaluation, I'll remind you lying in court is considered perjury, and I could place you in contempt if you do it again. I'm not trying to be mean I am just trying to make sure you are in no danger, from now or until you are able to be on your own."

"I'm sorry your honor, I won't do it again. I would say weekly. It could have been a lot more if my Mother had not been there. She helped me, she was the only one who showed me love. I can't even remember being hugged by my Dad. If my Mom hadn't of been there I would have tried what I did a long time ago, she was one of the reasons I didn't try it sooner."

"Thank you Justin for being honest with me, now one more question before I speak with your mother. If your Father ever came back and your Mom let him in, what would you do?"

"I'd call the police! I wouldn't allow it to happen, and I don't think she would either."

"Ok, that's all I needed from you Justin please go back to the waiting room, and please direct your Mother in."

Back in the waiting room, I could feel my stomach doing flips, it seemed to be ages that my Mom was behind the doors. I could hear very little, and it worried me. After what seemed like days, the door opened and my Mom came out. She looked stressed but less stressed than she had been.

I couldn't help it, "What did she say?"

"We'll talk about it in the car." She said seeing the rest of the people in the corridor. Once outside, I felt a lot better my nervous energy dwindled yet I still had a gnawing at my stomach, my Mom seemed to sense it and spoke up. "I'm not in big trouble, I have to pay a fine, and take parenting classes, she also said I need to get a consoler and need to attend self-empowerment classes."

"Thank the Gods!" I beamed a smile at her, and since this all happened I finally saw a true genuine smile from her as well.

"What do you say we go get some hotdogs? There's a really good hotdog stand a few blocks from here."

"Sure!" I said it was only 10AM but I was hungry.

We walked down the sidewalk, I paid attention to the street signs and even saw a few hot guys walking around. I couldn't help my wandering eyes, what can I say business men usually look hot! Then as we turned around a corner there it stood, I could smell the hotdogs already and felt and heard my stomach growl. My mom gave me a sideways look and started laughing.

I got a bratwurst with mustard and sauerkraut, my Mom got a long frank with onions and ketchup. We munched them on the way back to the car. It was nice doing something like this it was new. To be able to enjoy our time without having to worry if he was happy or not. I keep expecting to wake up, to see him hovering there waiting. even now that he's gone he lingers in my life. I find myself constantly waiting, it still doesn't feel safe. The drive home was silent beyond the country music that my Mom sung to. I'd never admit it but the words I even knew. Concrete Angel connected with me.

The night was much the same it flowed like water, dinner went by, she let me talk to Billie. I found myself in bed, my worry washed away for even the smallest bit. It was a blessing to feel, the house empty of his presence. I curled up and let myself succumb to sleep.

I awoke, I was uncomfortable and I didn't know why. I went to the bathroom, and splashed water onto my face. It's when I noticed my back was itchy and I itched it. When I pulled my hand back my fingers were wet with blood. I ripped off my shirt in a panic and when I looked in the mirror again I saw ticks covering every inch of my skin. I began to scream in horror as I scratched at the ticks covering me. I felt as weak as I did when I tried to kill myself. A fog seemed to come and go and when it was gone I was on the floor laying in a pool of my blood. The ticks were gone and I looked at my wrists. They were gaped open and blood shot out with the pulsing of my heart. I opened my mouth to scream, and my body melted away as my mouth swallowed it. Then I was blood and innards.

I awoke in a panic, sweat dripped down my face and my back was wet. I threw off the sheets and felt my body-no ticks, no blood. I sighed, thankful it was a dream. I looked at the clock and it said 3:33. I put my hands onto the bed to shift my weight, and it felt as if I put my hands into jello. They sunk into the bed, and when I looked down I could see coagulated blood inches thick on the bathroom floor. Then I noticed my wrists, gaped open again, ticks spilled out and began feeding on the coagulated blood. Again I went to scream and when I did it was a sickening gurgling noise. I felt crawling in my neck I coughed, blood spurted out, then ticks followed. I tried screaming again, but my mouth was gone, and my eyes began to heal themselves shut. I began to cry and felt the pressure build behind my closed eye lids. Right before one burst open I felt myself jerk away. A scream bubbled out of my mouth.

I felt my fists flying out before I could even open my eyes. When they opened I was blinded by the light. I scanned my room, then my body. I looked at the bed waiting to see blood and ticks, but there was nothing. I sighed, and it was then that I heard my alarm clock going off. I grumbled and turned it off. Saturday morning came too soon and it was time for my first Saturday detention. I grumbled again. I felt tired and weak, my nightmare must have taken a lot out on me. I felt sluggish all morning. My Mom yawned as she came into the kitchen, for her coffee. She gave me a smile, made her coffee than sat down.

"Ready for detention?"

"No, and I still don't think I should have to have detention either especially with Damon. It's wrong, Billie and I did nothing wrong. It's not wrong to defend yourself!"

"No your right, it's not wrong to defend yourself, but when your at school, don't you think you should talk to a teacher first? Or me? If you had you might not be where your at."

"I still think its wrong. It would be less wrong if I didn't have to share the day with Damon."

"I agree with your principal, I think it could be a positive experience for you all. Maybe he will see a side of you two that he did not before. Maybe you should try and see a side of him you didn't. This world is too small and life is too short for one to harbor so much hate."

"Ugh ok my guru Momma!" I said smiling at her.

"I'll go get ready and then take you to serve your detention. I'm gonna have you take the bus home I need to get some stuff done while your serving your punishment. No side trips your still in trouble, so no walking home with Billie, you hear me?"

"Yes Mom." I said feeling cheated.

Once at school my Mom dropped me off and drove away. I was tempted to walk home and take the expulsion. Maybe it was my dream or the fact I still wanted to rip his face off. I swallowed it down instead, then walked to the office to sign in. Mr. Johnson sat at a desk behind the receptionist and his grin told me I was going to regret not ditching. Billie was the next to walk in, then 5 minutes late Damon walked in.

"Ok boys, let's head to the gym." I grumbled. Once we were in the gym Mr. Johnson told us to go get our gym clothes on. He followed us in and watched us get changed. As I was getting dressed I saw Billie looking me over. It made my heart flutter and I winked at him and his beautiful face began turning deeper shades of red. I loved it when he was shy, it made me so horny.

Once we were dressed and in the gymnasium, stretches started. Then push ups, crunches, more push ups, more crunches. Next was laps around the court, one, two, three, four, five. When I started to think my body could take no more, the pull-ups came. All of us were panting and grumbling. After we all had three goes at the pull-ups he went to his office and grabbed the portable radio and a chair.

He turned on some stupid polka sounding music, and said "I'm not done with you yet, jumping jacks." He began counting, once he hit ten he ordered us to jog in place. My lungs burned and my muscles ached. After 50 jumping jacks with intermittent jogging in place he finally said we could rest.

We broke off from each other, Damon traveled toward one wall and Billie and I started for the opposite when Mr. Johnson spoke up. "What do you think your doing?" We all turned and looked at him bewildered. "This is a punishment, not a social gathering, you are to sit next to each other, there is to be no talking unless all three of you are talking to each other. In the real world adults talk through their problems, only weak people resort to violence and bullying. If what happened here happened in a work place you would have been fired, even arrested." Damon went to say something but Mr. Johnson quickly cut him off. "That better not be a complaint on your tongue, the only thing I want to hear is 'I need to go to the bathroom' or quiet polite talking between yourselves. You hear?" We all shook our heads, then walked to the wall and sat against it. Billie and I sat with our bodies pressed into each other. His hand snaked into mine. Damon seemed to notice as he scooted away from us with a scowl on his face.

The coach looked over at us and shook his head but didn't say anything. We got to rest for 15 minutes then he corralled us in the middle of the gym. He had three buckets and three of those litter sticks with the spikes at the end of them. He handed us each one then tore off three bags. "You are all to collect one bag of garbage, then you can come back and change and go home. Here's the fun part though..." An evil grin spread over his face and his eyes glinted just like a Demon. "I'll be watching and we will be playing a game while cleaning. You all are going to get to know each other whether you like it or not, it will be like 20 questions. I'll ask a question and you will all take a turn answering.

I wanted to complain but feared more laps around the gym. Once out the door we walked behind Mr. Johnson. "How old are you?" Was his first question. We all answered Damon was a year older than us. As we collected garbage he made us answer questions, and tested that we were retaining the little facts we were learning. "What's your favorite color?"

"Purple." I said.

"Purple? That's such a girl color." Damon taunted.

"Colors aren't gender specific, mines red. What's yours, manly-man?" Billie said.

"It was red but now I think it has to be blue."

"Get along children!" Mr. Johnson said, before I could ready my lips for my verbal assault.

After going throughout the school grounds we all got nearly full bags. Mr. Johnson was happy with our work and said we could head back to the gym to change. In the locker room, I swore I felt eyes on my back. I looked that way and saw Damon. When he noticed me looking at him he scowled and acted as if I was trying to see his bits and pieces. I rolled my eyes and finished getting my pants on. Once I was dressed I walked out to the gym to wait for Billie.

The week passed so slowly, finally Friday, we'd be going back to school on Monday and our last Saturday detention would be the next Saturday. I laid in my bed wishing I didn't have to go to Saturday school tomorrow. I didn't want to run again, one physical activity I hate, running. I grumbled picturing myself running around the gym huffing and panting. I turned on music and decided to fall asleep to Must Be The Ganja by Eminem.

Running, why was I running? I stood and looked down at my feet. They were hidden under fog, and I felt something prick me. I looked around and the world was on fire. It was like the vision in Terminator where Sarah Conner sees the first skynet attack in her daydream. Why was I running? I looked down at my feet again and the gym floor seemed to grow out from beneath my feet. I wiped sweat from my face and looked up. Damon and Billie stared at me like I had lost it. My world shifted, we were in the locker room.

We were taking showers, under the old ass showerheads that no longer ran cus nobody takes showers in middle school. I looked up and saw Billie and Damon. Cleaning each other under one of the shower heads. I stared at them utterly stupefied. Billie grabbed my hand and pulled me in next to them. Billie started kissing me, and I felt a hand wrap around my cock. It gently squeezed and tugged, Billies tongue battled with mine, then I felt another mouth sneak in, and another tongue began battling ours. I opened my eyes and saw Damon staring right back. A hand grabbed mine and directed it to a hard throbbing dick. It was different than Billie's, I pulled out of the kiss and looked down, Billie had his hand around me, mine was around Damon, and his was stroking Billie. I moaned out as the pressure on my dick began getting stronger and the stroking became faster.

I mimicked what was being done to me on Damon. I heard more moans coming from behind us, I looked back and Mr. Johnson was jerking off watching us. It didn't creep me out, just made me more horny. I got so into it, I wanted to put on a show. I wanted to try what I had seen in the porno movies I could find online. I got on my knees and grabbed both of their cocks in my hands. I tasted the tip of Damon’s first, his uncut penis fascinated me. I tasted the salty sweet skin that covered his head. I let my tongue slide in between his skin and head. My teeth slightly nibbled on it trying to pull more in so I could suck on it. I let my hand wrap around him tighter and pulled back exposing more of his head and tasting his juices that got trapped.

Billie's Cock rubbed my cheek, I went to work on his cock, licking the ridge. Letting my lips squeeze the head and I poked at his hole. I decided to step it up and pulled them both in tight. I rubbed their heads together, seeing their precum mixing. I licked my lips and opened wide. I put both of their cockheads in my mouth and slurped and let my tongue slide between them. I went down as far as I could and felt them sliding in and out Damon would push in Billie would pull out I could feel their cocks rubbing together and against my tongue. I felt a hand grab my ass, it was rough and big, I knew who it was. I moaned out and then felt a slap. It sent chills through me and I felt myself explode from the inside out.

I woke up in time to feel the last few shots of cum spewing out from me. I was so horny. My nipples were hard and the blanket made me want to play with them. I put my hand into my mess and rubbed myself. I wanted to finish what I started in my dream and I let my mind explore my dream fantasy as long as I could hold out.

When I was done I looked at the clock and decided to just go back to sleep. When I woke to my alarm, I did my morning business, it was in the shower that my dream came back to me and I really began to think about it. Why the hell did I have a dream like that, and with Damon and Mr. Johnson!? I contemplated on it all morning until it was time to go to detention.

When I entered the office, Mr. Johnson and Damon were waiting. I looked up from my feet to see them talking. Mr. Johnson looked at me, and said hi, Damon acknowledged me. Seeing them both made a glimpse of my dream haunt me, I felt my face burn, and I looked back to the ground. I said hello to them and took a seat facing away from them so I could hide my embarressment. My mind was loving it's new way of torturing me. I could imagine them naked, even though the thought of them like that was enough to disturb me deeply. But the even more disturbing thing was, how hard I was from the very thought of it, and the replay of my dream was NOT helping.

Dead puppies, naked old ladies, oh God seeing my aunt and uncle screwing. The last mental image seemed to help with my... pointing problem. Just in time for Billie to walk in the door to the office. We all headed to the gym. Once inside, I could see today Mr. Johnson was prepared. He followed us into the locker room, and we got dressed in our gym clothes. Against my will I found myself drawn to taking glimpses of Damon. My dream was fairly accurate, his body was toned better than most kids my age. He was one of the beautiful people. I envied him, and oddly, secretly, I could almost say I lusted him. He could be fun in the bed I was sure but I tried pushing all thoughts like that out.

In the gym, the stretches began, then push-ups, crunches which annoyed me, since I rather just do sit-ups. Then a few more stretches and the running began. I hate running, with a passion. All the cigarettes and weed I smoked wrecked havoc on my lungs. I stood for a second, and took a few breaths. Damon jogged by and winked at me. I think, it threw me off. I looked at the floor, and for the slightest second it reminded me of my dream. I looked up and saw Damon's ass, Billie ran by and looked back at me. He had a strange look on his face and I decided to start running again.

After what seemed like an eternity, Mr. Johnson announced last lap. All of us stood infront of Mr. Johnson, panting. Again my damn dream decided to haunt me a little more. He grabbed the folded chairs that laid next to his feet and set them up into a circle. I wondered what he planned, he had this diabolical look.

He started with, "Let's all take a chair and rest for a few minutes."

We obeyed and all sat in a chair he took a chair and just watched us. I felt uncomfortable, like he was trying to find what made us tick. When I didn't think I could take the silence any longer he spoke up. "First I'm gonna start with, I already talked to your parent's, they know that I have this little meeting planned. So no protests, we are going to get down to the problem between you three."

He sat back in his chair, giving us a moment to do as he said not to, and none of us did. Did we all fear the laps again? "First I want to ask the obvious. Justin, Billie, your boyfriends right?"

I looked at him, like he was a dick, and not the kind that are fun to play with. Justin looked at me as if he found this absord as well. "Yes," I said.

"Now Damon I think it's safe to say you are straight?"

"Yes!" He said it so quickly and glared at Mr. Johnson. It made me uncomfortable, I pictured him as the type of person who would bash people for being gay. He was so defensive with his answer.

"My second question is, do any of you believe in a higher power?" The coach asked.

"Yes, I'm Christian." Damon said. The coach stared at me waiting for my response.

"I'm a pagan, so is Billie." I said.

"In each of your religions, is hatred of another person moral?" Mr. Johnson asked.

"No, not in ours. Scorn and be scorn, 3-fold, so on. It's not moral to hate, and I don't." Billie said.

Mr. Johnson gave Damon the look he gave me and he answered, "No, hate the sin, pray for the sinner, judge not lest ye be judged." he said looking at the ground.

"Esactly, I know the bible says things that would make it seem as if Justin and Billie's sexuality is wrong. Who knows it could be, but religion is not a weapon. So, one problem crunched. After all you have learned about each other with our social games do you all think you are still that different? Some of you have the same favorite color, animals, sports and hobbies, just because you all don't have the same sexuality doesn't mean your wrong or different. Everyone is unique. I want you all to know sexuality doesn't define a person, what a person is capable of and what one does is what defines them."

My respect for my teacher grew with his words. I had to admit to myself that I was afraid of what the coach thought of me. He seemed, so manly and hearing from him that sexuality was nothing to be ashamed of, I don't know it made me feel good. I sat there waiting to see if he had any other words of wisdom to share. He seemed stuck, like he couldn't quite think of what to say.

He stood while speaking, "I am just going to give the guidance counsoler a call. He wanted a crack at you all after I was done. He is also going to discuss your school probation with you." He pulled a basketball out of his bag behindhis chair and bounced it towards me. I caught it and looked at him dumbly I think as he spoke up. "To pass the time," I looked at him blankly, basketball? Really? it echoed in my head, "Play." he said then walked to his office.

I grumbled, Justin and Damon shuffled my way. "I don't really know how to play actual basketball, how about horse?" I said.

"Fine with me," Justin said.

"Whatever, I call first." Damon said.

He made a three pointer right off the bat and I knew I was about to get clobbered.

To be continued....

Did you like it, what do you think will happen next? Well, I know but I can’t tell you :-P! Any comments and suggestions are more than welcome.