Chapter Seven

Justin

When I stepped inside it was dark as always. Home was supposed to be calm, a place to unwind. Not for me. It never has been, and now my nerves were shot as it was. When I closed the door my Dad grunted at me. Meaning I had made it in time. I smiled at my Mom and walked to my room. Inside my room I sat there stewing over Billie’s obvious betrayal. Yet I couldn’t stay mad at him, I wanted to but I just couldn’t. Not when the very thought of him inspires this jittery nervous butterfly feeling in me.

I know it sounds bad but it was so good to feel like that. To actually feel anything at all. However, what had happened with his parents blew my mind away. They knew about us and didn’t care… It just seemed so implausible as if they were yanking our chain. I was waiting for the shit to hit the fan. Would she tell me Mom? Dear God, would she tell him?

The night progressed in the same way, what if, after what if. I tried not thinking, thinking was making me nervous far too nervous. I decided on sleep.

Sleeping wasn’t any better, my thoughts plagued my dreams still. I tossed and turned through the night. I woke to chirping birds, the sky was clear for once and the sun was shining. Fear crept up my spine like a misty fog covering my bones. I sat up straight, I looked around my room but he had yet to make an appearance. I sighed for my luck and laid back down. I felt a smile grow on my face, it felt foreign but so good. Billie filled my thoughts, Billie - my drug of choice. I craved his presence, his touch and very scent. I sighed knowing I was lucky to pull off our stunt last night.

Then like a thousand bricks the realization came to me. My secret was no longer just mine--I felt an invisible claw wrap around my brain. It was as if my body had been filled with ice while I slept. The power of that thought pounded on the inside of my skull like a bunch of swarming bees. The day went on as usual.

I got dressed, went to my bus stop, then found my way into an empty seat. I watched the scenery pass by outside. The cactus and bushes, seemed so dull today. The usual purple, red, yellow, and white flowers left the plants making them look bland. When I finally got to school I wasn’t surprised to see Billie waiting in the usual spot.

I smiled at him, hit him in the shoulder then we walked off to talk before class started. We found a bench in the courtyard that was empty and made for two. I smiled at him and I wondered what it would be like to kiss him--now, in school. While all the kids passed us by. What would they do? What would the teachers say? It seemed so stupid to me. My mind cannot and will not accept that my love is wrong or abominable. It just can’t be, it would ruin the very fabric of my being. Billie makes me whole, complete, filled.

My thoughts wandered, as the chain unraveled in my head. Once the teachers knew, they’d tell our parents, we knew what Billie’s parents thought. Mine on the other hand… He’d kill me, no; us. What if that didn’t happen though, what if he only beat me then kicked me out? Sure it’s a week or longer of pain, but then I could be by myself. Either way I was tired, tired of living a lie, tired of fighting to go on, tired of holding it all in and never letting it out.

Billie gently rubbed my hand and woke me from my thoughts. I looked into his eyes that threatened to steal my soul. I fought the almost necessity to kiss his fragile lips, with a ravenous lusting want.

“What are you thinking of Justin?” Billie said raising his brow.

“I think you know…” I said blushing while imagining his body and god given equipment. To know I knew his body, that he knew mine, and that it was all mine thrilled me unbelievably at the moment, and I wanted to release it from it’s cage.

“Quit looking at me like that, god I feel like a steak or something…” Billie said blushing.

“How about we meet in the bathrooms after lunch?”

“Justin! Your kidding right?”

“No.” I said without shame.

“God now I’m horny! Yes.”

“Good,” I said beaming.

The day progressed slowly I was waiting for lunch so I could see him again. When the bell finally rang for lunch I felt that giddiness come to me like the first day we ever did anything. I met him at the cafeteria, we set the time and the right bathroom. We ate our lunch while giving each other smiles.

Our eyes flirted with each other, and I felt a slight blush taking control of my cheeks. I was rock hard below my waist and excited as hell. When the bell rang we split ways and went to our classes. I waited for the clock to finally hit 1:15... The seconds seemed to take HOURS, and the minutes were years.

I was out of it when my teacher asked me a question. I smiled sheepishly knowing I didn’t know. Mrs. Conner was cool, so I did the only thing that I thought might save me.

“Beeeeeeeeeeeeeeeep” I said lowering the pitch as my head dropped to the side. I almost laughed but got it out, “Brain dead!”

The classroom ignited in laughter Mrs. Conner’s face was annoyed at first but it faded into a smile and she joined in with the laughter.

“Okay smart-ass, pay attention now, k?” Mrs. Conner said ruffling my hair. She turned my page to the right page and pointed where she was at.

After she was done rounding the class, I went back to watching the clock, again the seconds seemed to be hours, and finally after an eternity of waiting it finally hit that magical number.

I walked up to her desk and handed her one of my restroom passes. She smiled at me and told me to get my act together before I got back so I could learn something. I smiled at her and walked off. The hallways were empty, and very void. Since they made away with the lockers it looks so empty. Only three more days till we get our beloved lockers back. I finally got to the restroom, I walked in and found Billie waiting sitting against the sink.

“Hey there slow poke!” He said sticking out his tongue.

I smiled, and pinned him to the sink. My lips enveloped his, as my lust guided my body. My hands roamed over him, feeling his hard stomach then lower to the prize. The other hand found it’s way under his shirt and to his now erect nipple. My tongue found his supple and tender neck, I let my teeth and tongue tantalize his neck and jaw, causing him to quiver. It encouraged me to go further yet, I lifted his shirt up till it hit my chin, then I removed my mouth from his neck and placed it over his other nipple.

Just a moment after beginning my assault on his nipple it became hard and more fun to nibble at. His breathing got more intense, my cock strained at my pants and I felt the familiar stickiness leaking from me. It inspired my hand to reach inside his loose sweat pants. My hand curled around his cock, and my fingertips found his nectar. I used his fluids to lube his cock as I slowly stroked it.

His hands found his way to my butt and the other fumbled with my zipper. I pulled his pants and boxers below his balls, and fully exposed him to me. He looked at me in disbelief, but I wanted it. I let my mouth be filled by him. I sucked with a bone tingling, skin incinerating fever. He moaned out his back curved and his hips jerked. I increased my suction I wanted his seed and I wanted to make it boil out. It didn’t take long to get my reward.

His body shuddered and his knees went weak as he leaned against the sink. The angle shoved his cock further in and I felt it expand then explode in my throat. His hands wrapped around my head as he unleashed all he had. I gagged a little but it seemed to add to the experience. He panted and sweat rolled down his face.

A huge grin was plastered to his face and he sat there as if stupefied for a minute.

“Jesus Justin!! God whatever that got you this horny was worth it, what did I do?”

“Just being you is what you did. And that’s not all…” I said while feeling the evidence in my pants.

“Really? I thought so I wasn’t sure however.”

“Yea I did that was so fucking hot!!” I said giggling. We kissed, he helped me clean up my mess and we split up to get to our classes.

I walked back to my class and sat at my desk. I could still taste Billie and my cock was still semi-stiff from our encounter. It made concentrating on the work hard, and the more I tried working the more my mind wandered to Billie’s body.

By the end of class I only got half of the lesson done, which meant I would have homework. I grumbled at my horny self and packed up my stuff. The day progressed slowly. The game plan was the same, I’d go home and say I needed to do some more work on my project.

Our plan worked as it had before. This time however my Mother took me to Billie’s, My Mom chatted a little while with Billie’s. I couldn’t help it but I became a wallflower on the kitchen wall, listening intently on what was being passed back and forth. Billie’s Mom looked at me as if knowing my reasons but just smiled and kept talking.

When they were finally done talking I was happy. I wanted my Mom to have a friend but at the same time I felt very threatened. All these years of keeping it all wrapped up in twine and repairing the damage and now it was all about to unravel and I wanted to stop it.

Fear was my motive, and pain was my reality. However Billie fit into it and made me question my motives. Did I want to let the ball I had kept so tightly wound covered and hidden, or did I want to rip it to shreds, to be free and live my life? If Billie was with me I decided I didn’t care either way.

It was Friday, and the weekend was almost in my grasp. Up to this point we had kept my Dad at bay, but now it was time for the graded paper and now I faced a dilemma that we hadn’t thought about. Billie and I got sweeps three times on purpose so we could work on our “project” by the end of the third sweeps class we had it done. We graded it ourselves and put a C on it.

It seemed like it was going to work out, it had to, or he’d kill me. I knew it. If he knew it was all a lie just to get out of being grounded… I didn’t want to think what he’d do. It made my stomach knot. The bus ride home was unbelievably long. It seemed to stretch hours upon hours. When it was finally my stop I felt my stomach quiver as the bus driver opened the door.

My sweaty palm found the door knob, I turned it and opened the door. My eyes adjusted to the difference in light as I stood in the doorway. Another old western was on and I saw him sitting in his recliner as if he were God. I kept my head low and avoided contact. I walked to the bathroom and went pee. It made me feel more calm.

The night progressed slowly, and I was waiting for him to ask about the grade but he never did. I didn’t know whether to be pleased or afraid. During dinner we sat quietly around the table. My dad chugged his beers, my Mom ate quietly, and I found myself pushing my food around. The air as always was thick with tension, it felt like it would strain so tight it would snap and create a vortex and suck us in. Halfway through his plate he hiccupped and undid his belt. I looked at him with disgust, he seemed so piggish to me all the time.

After dinner he was his usual drunk self. I watched him with fear bubbling under my skin. Finally the moment I had dreaded all day--his voice interrupted my turmoil of thoughts and made them rage into a blazing inferno.

“So what did ya git boy?”

“Huh?” I said not sure if he meant the report or not.

“The report thick head!”

“Oh… a C. He said it had great voice, but that the presentation was lacking.”

“Oh, now did he? I hated prick teachers. So why don’t you present it, Justin? Why don’t I be the judge?” he said.

His words were sinister, as always. I grabbed out our report and the few maps we drew. It was quite good if you asked me for being done within about an hour and half.

I started reading it, in my place on the floor, but he insisted I stand in front of the TV to present it right. I followed his orders not wanting confrontation. I felt sweat form on my forehead. My Mom gave me a silent nod of approval.

I read it, I explained how Hitler gained his power from the lack of the World Court and their failure to keep him in check. How it caused the downfall of Europe as he slowly and strategically took control. I read how he segregated groups of minorities. The star, color, and triangle meanings. It was thorough, and complete. I showed the three maps of Hitler’s growth in power over the years he reigned.

He was pleased. “Good job, since you did a good job your ungrounded.” He stood up and patted my shoulder. My shell hardened at his touch, but melted at the affection, it’s what I craved. All I wanted was just a touch of compassion and love, or a word of praise. It gave me false hope in my small heart. He smacked my face and again said I did a good job.

He left it at that and stumbled to their room. I felt my knees shaking, and the ravens eating at my stomach. A sigh left my mouth in a gush of wind. The tension left me for a second if not longer. I was home free, it worked! My Mom stood and gave me a hug. She smiled at me and looked me straight in the eye’s.

“Good job honey, but don’t pull another stunt like that.” My jaw fell and I looked at her amazed.

“But how?”

“Unlike your father, I do call the hotline for the school to check on what you need to get done for school. You know honey, I am your Mom and I do look out for you. Just remember if you ever need to tell me anything, anything at all, Justin--anything and I’ll listen. I’ll always love you and protect you, understand?”

“Yes, mom.” I said. I felt tears in my eyes and I wondered just how much she really did know. Did she know about Billie and I? Did Billie’s mom spill the beans? At the moment I didn’t care. I felt loved and I wanted her to know. “Thanks mom, you’re the greatest ever! I love you.” I said as I gave her a hug and a kiss on the cheek. She smiled at me and told me goodnight.

For once, it was a good night. I fell asleep so easily, and I didn’t worry at all.

Note: Well for Samhain or rather Halloween I am doing a Halloween special. The day-you guessed it-Halloween! The year, well that’s fuzzy ;-) LOL. I know I am a freak but I love it :-P and without further redo, the Halloween special!

The final bell finally ringed, and the energy in me raised even higher. I met up with Billie in the hallway by his locker. I had the strongest urge to kiss his neck and grab a handful of his ass but I let my eyes do all the talking. He blushed at me and smiled.

“You ready for tonight?” He asked me.

“Almost, I have the pomegranate, apple, bread and wine. We need to stop at Clare’s to get the Sage.”

“Did you bring the athame?” Billie asked.

“Yes, I didn’t want to say it out loud though just in case the last thing I need is for a teacher to find out I had a 8 inch double bladed dagger in school all day.” I said quietly watching all angles.

“Did you bring yours?”

“Yes, nearly cut my finger on it too!”

“Ok, my parent’s know I won’t be home tonight, did you tell yours the same?”

“Do I look dumb to you babe?” He said, his eyes also shifting directions.

“No, not at all. We’ll stop at your house to place some of the bread and half of the second apple near your window, then mine. Then we need to stop at Clare’s, then finally our destination.”

“I’m not sure if I want to sleep in the desert…” Billie said not sure if he wanted to. I didn’t want to either but there was no choice now.

“We’ll only be a couple miles away from home and only 1 from a hospital if any critters get one of us. I’ve been stung by a scorpion before, it hurts like hell but I didn’t die, just felt sick for a day or two. My asshole Dad wouldn’t even take me to the hospital.” I said bitterly.

“What are we gonna use for an altar?”

“I know this is gonna sound ridiculous but a box.”

“A box?”

“Yea… I know but carrying a table will look REALLY weird! A closed TV box is gonna be weird enough.”

“Where is it?”

“I already have it where we’re going.” I said, we were nearly off school property now. “Did you get the candles and goblet?”

“Yes,” Billie said cutting me off. “And the cauldron and the spices and oil. Did you make sure you got the mortar and pestle?”

“Yes, we are definitely set. I’m not sure if I want to do it sky clad though, what if someone comes and see’s us naked and all?” I said a little self-conscious.

“Well, then they’ll see us all naked. It’ll be like in gym.” Billie said smiling.

We made our stops, then rode the bus to Clare’s Witches Paradise and got the Sage. We hopped back on the bus and got off a mile from our destination. I carried the box and felt self-conscious.

Once we finally made it to the desert Billie pulled out his cell phone and called home. He assured his Mom he was at my house then I did the same with mine. Now all would be fine unless one of them called each other, which was becoming frequent.

In the past week since being grounded and ungrounded all seemed fine and well. He was still getting drunk but for some reason he just fell asleep. I’d find out later he was just doing overtime and was too worn out for what he always did to us. My house seemed to be in an uplifted mood, which was perfect. I wanted to feel safe and happy, and altogether just at peace.

And it had been peace, pure serenity. I was sleeping easier, not plagued with insomnia or blackouts. Not to mention I was able to leave the dungeon to go to Billie’s. Where we planned our Samhain ritual, down to the very spot we’d do it.

And here we were. Setting up the altar with the right things. The fruit, the pumpkin, the incense, salt, water, candles, pentacle, it was all in proper order. The make-shift altar held all we needed it to. We did the ritual in slow rhythmic movements calculating our ever step and word. The air around us seemed to thin and fill with an abundant energy that pulsed through our veins.

We said our parts, called on our dead loved ones to come play and eat. We drank from the goblet filled with burgundy colored wine that tasted of grapes and cherry wood. We did our magical workings to honor the year, and the turning of the wheel. Our candles flickered in the cool autumn air as it chilled our naked skin. Once the ritual was over we closed the circle, but still stayed within it‘s safety. We both buried half the apple and left the other half out.

We sipped the wine while snuggling up to each other. By now we were dressed again and I wished we weren’t. My face was warm and flushed, I knew this feeling, as I had stolen from my Dad’s liquor cabinet before. I wondered why he got so mean after drinking? For me it was just this warm fuzzy feeling inside, almost like the one Billie could give me with just a look. Maybe that was what it was now? I didn’t care, we continued sipping and touching. It was bliss, as if we were in the Summerland’s with the Gods’ with a warm breeze brushing our skin. I pictured the wind spirits slightly kissing us as they flew by.

The night was silent, as if there wasn’t a neighborhood just a couple blocks away and the outskirts of a city just 2-3 miles away. It was as if we were transported back to a time where no one dared venture to places unknown. I looked at my watch which read 12:52. Billie passed back the bottle and I took a big swig off of it. It warmed my insides and inspired a belch to escape my mouth. Billie jumped then laughed really hard at me. At first I was embarrassed but felt it fade away as laughter escaped my throat. I turned my head and kissed him in the mid of his laughter. It silenced him as his tongue found it’s place among mine.

It wasn’t long before I was in his lap facing him. Our arms were wrapped around each other and our tongues lodged deep in each others mouths. His hardness pressed into mine allowing me to know he was just as excited as me. His precious lips left mine to wonder to my neck. My head fell back as if on cue giving him all the access he wanted. It inspired a growl from within me. It was raw and lewd in manner. His tongue traced a burning trail up my neck to my jaw line where he nibbled sending my sexual energy higher.

The air made strange but not unwanted sensations as the warmed was replaced by coldness. My hands roamed his body, my left hand instinctively found his rock hard member and the other wormed itself under his shirt to find his right nipple. My hips came alive to tease us both. His mouth found mine with an anxiety and we were connected in a lip-lock again. The sensations went to an overload status as my air became thin. Almost like a parasite I sucked air from him to keep going. It could have been hours that we were there kissing and gyrating our bodies in a balanced rhythm. Finally our lungs could take no more neglect, our lips parted with a smack and sigh.

My body seemed to be burning as our eyes connected with grins errantly plastered on our faces. Madonna’s song seemed to be right amazingly. The coyness, and wonder where here, in a fusion. As if it were the very first time, again. Our territories were known but at the same time unknown. Where could we venture, to the heights and places already known or to a new level of existence where we could become lost in our union?

Either way we found new heights, as our bodies intertwined in a mass of sweat, flesh, and love. The night closed leaving us naked and wrapped in a blanket under the twinkling stars. This night would forever be with me, to recall years upon years after it was said and done.

To be continued…

Chapter Six

Justin

The day progressed slowly, I think it was our plan eating away at my nerves. If I were to be caught, he’d kill me, but I needed Billie. I needed to feel his love and I wanted to give him all I could in return. When we got back on school grounds the lunch bell rang. By the time I got to my next class I was tardy. Again class progressed like normal, then my teacher pulled me aside. I was tired of lying, but kept my story.

My mouth went dry, and my stomach seemed to knot as I walked down the hall, pass Mr. Sanchez’s class and further yet to Building A. I was ten foot from Mrs. Donaldson’s room, and butterflies filled my stomach as my nervousness became more frenzied. I sighed as my hand grabbed the knob, and I opened the door. Mrs. Donaldson was sitting behind her desk, and in a chair in front of her desk was the Principle. I felt the blood leave my face, and the butterflies turned into ravens.

She motioned for me to sit and I sat in the opposite chair. “Hi Mr. Jacoby.”

“Hi Justin. I was worried about you since your teachers told me about your shiner there, and what a nice one it is. There were a few discrepancies in your story, I thought we’d get down to it and find out the real story.”

I felt sick, and trapped like an animal. Mrs. Donaldson gave me some papers to fill out. Some psychobabble about knowing how I am doing. I filled it out and she went over it.

“As I thought, you are way too stressed for your age! Justin you can tell us anything, nobody else will know what goes on in this room today.”

“I already told you, I ran into a wall. I was just stupid ok? Why can’t you just leave me alone?”

“Well you see Justin, you told me you ran into a wall because your Dad called you, yet earlier you told Mr. Chadwick your mother bought you a new game so you were excited, were running to your room and she called you and you turned your head. Which one is it?”

“Both, I was excited because my Mom got me a game and when I was running to my room to play it, my Dad called me. I was just under pressure, Mr. Chadwick kind of intimidates me.”

Mr. Jacoby looked at me then said, “Justin if there is something going on at home, we can help you.”

“There isn’t I was just dumb, or absent minded and ran into a stupid wall and everyone is blowing it way out of proportion. I have done stuff like this more than once I really am just a clutz…”

They looked at each other for a little bit. I knew I was winning by the looks on their faces. Deny, deny, deny, always works. I smiled inside at evading them, until Mrs. Donaldson looked me square in the eyes.

“So would it be alright with you if I called your parent’s?”

The ravens returned in a vicious battering of my stomach. A sour taste filled my mouth and I felt panic run up my spine. I decided she was way too thorough. I sighed and hoped it would work.

“Yea you can if you want, but can I please get back to my class. I’m not doing too well in Spanish as it is?”

“Well ok then, I don’t think I need to call your parents, yes you may get back to class.” I stood ready to bolt to the door when she spoke up again. “Be careful from now on ok? People will get the wrong idea.”

“As I’ve seen,” I smiled and walked away. I got to the door and was home free. When I reached the other side of the door, my lungs collapsed sending the air out of me. I felt my hands shake, as the nervous energy pumped through my veins. The lies were getting hard to follow, and I knew when I got home it might just happen again, like always.

When final period came I was breaking from being so nervous. If he found out our plan was just a lie I’d be dead, at the same time it could save me from another beating… The war inside of me raged on, for eternity it seemed. When the final bell rang I was still somewhat lost. I told Billie I’d call him when I got home to let him know if I could get out for our “project”.

The bus ride was noisy, boring, and added to my nerves. At my bus stop I gulped it down and tried getting my game face on. The walk home seemed to be my final stretch. I turned the knob and walked inside.

The darkness inside blinded me as always, he always kept it like a dingy cell inside the house. When my eyes adjusted to the darkness I saw him sitting on the couch, my Mom was on the other end doing some pinpoint. I smiled at her and then my gaze hit my feet. I walked over to him and stood to the side as not to block his view.

“Uhm… Dad?”

“…”

“...My history teacher assigned team projects for this week, and my partner asked if I could come over to his house cause he has a computer and it would make the research faster... He wanted me to call and let him know.” I kept my eyes to the ground and hoped I hadn’t disturbed him and his stupid old western enough for a beating.

“What the fuck is it about boy?”

“...WWII, the holocaust, and Hitler’s New Order. We have to identify the leaders of the axis-powers and the allied-powers, and what roles they had in ending the war, and we have to tie it in to why it started the cold war.”

“Whatever, make sure you get your ass home by 7 and no fucking later, you hear me, BOY?” He said looking over his glasses, while giving me a look that could kill even the strongest Olympians. I felt my insides rot and decay in a rancid glory of self-hate and uncertainty.

“O-ok…” I grabbed the phone and called Billie. My Dad listened in on the conversation as always. I was happy I told Billie it was his routine for groundings in school so he knew not to give us away. His Mom answered, “Is Billie there?”

“Yes, one moment--BILLIE!” I heard a clacking noise and then heard Billie’s sweet voice fill my ears. “Hey Justin! I didn’t think you were going to call. I was sure you’d leave me alone to do all the boring work! God, how did our teacher think of this evil project, history bites!”

“It does, well anyway I am allowed to come over but I have to be home by seven o’clock sharp, my parent’s have this thing about eating dinner at the same time…” I lied which seemed to inspire a wicked smile from my Dad. His protruding eye brows seem to grow even longer into wicked horns, my throat went dry at his look and I continued. “I’ll ask my Mom if I can get a ride, if not I’ll take the bus.”

“My Mom already said she could pick you up if you needed a ride.”

“Oh, ok that’s cool. Tell her thanks for me. I’ll be out front.”

“Justin, times up, this isn’t a social call, your lucky I am letting you leave when your grounded!” My Dad butted in. I wanted to growl at him and tell him to fuck off, but I knew better.

“Well I got to go! See ya in a little bit!”

“Ok, see ya in a few.” He hung up, then I hung up.

“Your lucky boy, I could have sworn you were lying to me. Get your ass ready I don’t need no rich bitch comin’ to my fucken door!”

I already had my backpack over my shoulder and I was basically ready to go. I went to the door to go wait, but he stopped me. He looked me over and decided I passed his whatever-test that was. I waited on the curb for Billie and his Mom.

Billie

When Justin called he sounded really stressed, and I knew his Dad was listening. He had warned me at school his Dad sometimes did that when he was grounded. I had already made plans with my Mom to go pick him up. We were on the way to his house when my Mom pulled over and pulled into a parking lot.

“Ok Billie, what’s going on? Your acting nervous.”

Damn, how does she always know? “Nothing.”

“Billie…” She gave me that mother knows look and I crumbled.

“Well Justin and I are kind of lying to his Dad... I know it’s not right but I am worried about Justin. He’s been grounded since he got back from the lake and he told me some stupid story about breaking his grandmas urn… I know he was lying, I can just tell, and he had a big bruise on his face. Then…” I caught myself, I couldn’t tell her he flinched when I hugged him like it caused him pain, she’d ask why we were hugging…

“Billie, you know lying is wrong what have I told you about that? Never mind. What do you think happened?”

“I don’t wanna say anything because I’m not sure, but I think Justin’s Dad is mean... I think maybe he hurt Justin.”

She gave me a look, and I knew she wasn’t going to say anything about the lie to Justin’s parents. My Mom told me about her childhood, and about how her Dad used to hurt her and she’d lie so no one would know. She had a concerned look on her face, then she started driving again.

Justin was sitting on the curb when we turned around the corner. He stood when he saw my Mom’s car and smiled in our direction.

My Mom looked at me weird for a second, or maybe it was just me. I felt so much better just seeing him that I didn’t care. I just needed to see him and be around him. I wanted to protect him, and unlike at school I was going to make him tell me what happened. The ride to my house was pretty much silent. My Mom cross examined Justin but said nothing about the bruise on his face. When we got to my house we got out of the car and Justin thanked my Mom for the ride.

She smiled at him and said it was no problem. She didn’t ask about his bruise but I had a feeling she would sooner or later that night. We ran up the stairs and to my room. When we got in there I hugged and kissed him then walked him towards the bed. On the bed we sat side by side and I finally broke the somewhat uncomfortable silence that had begun.

“Justin I want to know the truth. If you can’t tell me the truth then I don’t think our relationship will work out.” It was a threat that was hollow but I was determined to find the truth.

He was silent, so silent I would have sworn he was a corpse. The only thing that separated him from a corpse was his eyes that blinked now and then. His hand went clammy at my question and the look on his face was one that signified he was deep in thought. His head turned slowly in my direction and tears threatened to fall out of his beautiful eyes.

“I love you Billie, more than I value my own life. I want to tell you, but you’d hate me.”

“Never, I swear Justin nothing could ever make me hate you, unless you cheated or something but then I’d just be hurt so never do that. What is it, please tell me I can handle it, unless your dying from like cancer.”

“I, my…” He stopped, then looked out my window.

“Please Justin, I can’t help it but I have to know I am sorry I’m being selfish but I just can’t not know. It’s eating at me so badly.”

“My Dad… if I tell you and he finds out…”

I couldn’t help it. I knew what he was hiding I knew it I think since that night I felt sick. Something in me told me and I wanted to believe my logic instead. It set me off which made Justin jump from the force I said it. “If that bastard has hurt you I’ll kill him! He has hasn’t he? I fucking knew it!”

Justin looked terrified, “Sexy, baby… I love you and I know even if you won’t say it he has hurt you. I can feel it inside of me, and I can’t stand it. I love you so much and to think he has done something to you kills me inside. Your so smart, beautiful, and you deserve anything and everything. Please know that, don’t let him make you feel like you are right now. I will never go anywhere I love you and even if you are suffering from abuse that doesn’t change a thing. You are not the bad person, he is. Do you understand?”

Tears fell down his cheeks and he looked at me straight into my eyes and he nodded. It meant more than he understood, I could tell it meant more than that. It was his admittance to what I thought or rather knew. A slight sob left his quivering lips and I felt my heart darken and soften. I swore I’d protect Justin against his father even if it killed me. He hugged me and I could feel the weakness he felt. I held his face and kissed him on his bruise then on his lips, he pulled me closer to him and that’s when I noticed out of the corner of my eye.

My Mom was standing in the doorway she was watching us. I felt fear seep into my body at the realization of being caught in our intimate moment. Her reaction wasn’t what I thought it would be, she simply smiled and left the doorway. Still my insides knotted even though I felt it would all be alright. I wasn’t sure I wanted them to know about me. Everyone always talked about people like us in the most horrible ways. My mind couldn’t grasp how people could hate just because of who you fall in love with. It was just so simple to me, I love Justin, he loves me and we make each other happy I couldn’t see how that was bad. I just couldn’t.

We stayed in our embrace for about 20 minutes when Justin finally let go of me. He looked into my eyes and I don’t know. That single look just made me melt, physically and emotionally and at the same time it fueled me with a energy I hadn’t felt before. It was as if in that one second our souls touched, and danced in the most voluptuous way. It was 6, meaning we only had an hour left. My Mother as always knew when it was time to butt in. She called us to come downstairs.

When we reached the top of the stairs we were assaulted by the smell of lasagna. Justin’s stomach growled, and we both giggled. When we got to the first floor my Dad as always was in his easy chair reading the paper. He folded the paper down and examined us, then smiled. We traveled to the kitchen where my Mother was cooking asparagus and onions. She smiled at us and asked us to set the table.

Justin grabbed the silver wear and I grabbed the plates. Together we set the table.

“Billie, get the bread basket as well I made some breadsticks.”

“Ok Mom!” I said excitedly. She made two of my favorite things lasagna and breadsticks The asparagus and onion I didn’t really like, but she seemed to force me to eat at least three or four stalks of it. However I was still worried. Knowing my Mom she would bring up what she saw, she was always like that, she didn’t like secrets and always addressed anything that she needed. I knew it was going to have to be addressed at some point I just wish it wasn’t tonight.

She told us we had about 15 minutes to get washed up and at the table. She shooed us out of the kitchen and we ran up the stairs to the bathroom. We stood side by side in front of the sink. It’s when I noticed Justin was avoiding the mirror. At first I thought he was just concentrating on washing his hands but when we were done he swiftly turned away from the mirror before lifting his gaze higher. I had noticed he avoided the mirrors in the bathrooms at the Lake as well.

I grabbed him from behind and turned him around towards the mirror to test my theory and as I thought his eyes shifted to the ground again. It bothered me that he didn’t want to see himself.

“We should get back downstairs.” He said.

“Just a minute, I like seeing us like this together.” It inspired a smile to grow on his face but he still didn’t look. I decided I wouldn’t push him anymore, I had enough already.

“We should go to my room for a couple of minutes.”

“You sure?” Justin said. He turned and looked at me and his eyebrow raised.

“Yes, I am hungry for your lips, and maybe some lasagna!”

He smiled and bit his lower lip in the way he always does. It fueled the sexual energy in me and I kissed his succulent lips. He kissed back, his hands found my butt and his tongue invaded my mouth. It’s when I heard one of the stairs creak, I knew it was the third one from the top so I pulled away.

He smiled and we composed ourselves as we walked out of the bathroom. My Dad smiled and said my Mom told him to tell us dinner was done. We followed behind him downstairs. I swear I saw Justin check out my Dad from behind and I elbowed him. A huge blush colored his face, and he whispered. “It’s not my fault, you should thank him for your looks.”

I couldn’t help it and made a gag noise. “Ya perv let’s eat already.”

We finished walking to the kitchen and we sat next to each other. Our food was steaming and the smells invaded our senses. I was the first one to dig in. I burned my tongue on the lasagna but it didn’t matter. I munched it and grinned when it was all but gone. Justin was eating his asparagus without complaints. I decided he must like his vegetables as he never complained. It wasn’t too long after Justin started eating his lasagna that my Mom spoke up. A chill ran up my spine, and my eyes found the table center piece.

“Ok boys, we need to talk, don’t we?” Justin’s face paled as I’m sure mine did. “I think you both know what I’m talking about right?”

“Seriously, I just ran into a wall.” Justin said.

“Honey that is a different story, I’m talking about the other issue.” Justin looked confused but a glimmer of recognition flashed in his eyes as his met mine. He blushed.

“Mom, I was going to tell you I just didn’t know how.” I said wishing I had been more careful as my tongue seemed to be numb from the burn, or maybe it was my nerves.

“You know I am proud of you, so is your father. There has to be some ground rules, but besides that we support you, and whoever you may fall in love with. I could never hate you, especially not after 10 hours of labor!” Justin was looking at the table and seemed to be deep in thought. I looked at my Dad and he just smiled at me. It was strange to me. I totally thought they’d blow a gasket and send me to boarding school or something. My fears at the moment seemed to be hollow.

“Ok Justin now onto your bruise.”

“Uhm… what about it?”

“I know no wall did that.” He looked at me suspiciously, like he knew I told, and now I felt somewhat like a traitor.

“Seriously, it was a stupid accident, I have lots of them, I’m a really big clutz. Tell them Billie, you’ve seen me fall over my feet hundreds of times at school.” It was a demand and I knew it. He wasn’t asking me, but rather feeding me a script to paint and follow.

I looked down at my plate and contemplated my next words. Do I betray his trust to help him, or say nothing and let it blow over and possibly let him get more hurt in the process? “Well Billie, what is it?” My Mom asked.

My heart tore in half at the decision at hand and I couldn’t decide. Lie or tell the truth? Tell the truth or lie? It was soaring through my brain at what seemed to be faster than the speed of light, yet it stretched for all eternity. “I’m sorry Justin, but I can’t, I’m worried about you. I won’t lie, and in fact you have the best reflexes I’ve seen.”

He glared at me, then looked back at his plate. “Me, good reflexes? That’s funny Billie.”

My Dad seemed to take a queue at this point and knocked the vase with his hand, it went towards Justin and without knowing it himself he stopped it from falling. He looked at his hand wrapped around the vase and seemed to get a shroud of darkness around him. His face looked pained and I think he just knew, he was caught.

“Nice job, you saved the flowers.” My Dad said. “Justin we want to help you, and nothing more.”

“I don’t need help, because nothing is wrong. Oh sh.. I mean uhm, what time is it?”

My Mom’s eyebrow raised at Justin’s near slip, but looked at the clock. “It’s 6:46.”

“Uhm I really liked the food your really good at cooking, but I really need to get going. My Dad is very strict when it comes to being home by curfew.”

“What will happen if you aren’t home on time?”

Justin saw through my Mom’s attempt with perfect grace. “Well I’ll get grounded, and I’ll have to do extra chores.”

“Well, ok honey, but we are here if you need us. Let me finish up and I’ll have you home on time.”

“Ok, thank you.” He said then sat there in silence, while shifting his food around on the plate. My stomach knotted at the thought of hurting Justin, but I knew it was for the good. I left it at that though and ended up playing with my food as well, all of the sudden I just wasn’t hungry. Maybe it was the guilt infecting me.

As my Mom had promised we go Justin home two minutes before Seven. He looked at me then at my Mom. “Thanks for the rides, and the delicious dinner.”

“No problem honey have a good night.”

With that he got out and walked to his door. My Mom waited for him to go inside, but he fumbled around, but then finally opened his door and went in. When the door shut I felt my stomach sink.

Chapter Five

Billie

When I awoke I was in a wonderful mood. It was Sunday so I was really looking forward to seeing if Justin could come over. I called him but no one answered. So I went about my morning rituals. I peed, took a shower, then ate. I was bored so I played some tekken tag, I was determined to get better so I could have a chance against Justin. I played arcade on hard, it was amazingly hard. I Don’t know how Justin could play it on Very Hard and win so easily…

By lunch time Justin filled my mind. I had never felt anything like this before, I wanted to see him, and have him bless me with a kiss. I wanted to smell his sweet scent sending my spirits higher. I decided to call him again around lunchtime. Finally someone answered after the third ring.

“Hello?” It was a male so I figured it was Justin’s Dad.

“Hi! Can I talk to Justin?”

“Nope, he’s grounded and won’t be taking phone calls.”

“Oh… ok.” I said but before I finished I heard a click. I grumbled to myself. I wonder what that is about? I thought to myself.

The day seemed to drag on and on, when I got an idea. I went to my room and locked the door. I laid on my bed and thought about it. Magazine, or thoughts of Justin? Of coarse Justin won out and soon my hand was wrapped around my engorged cock. I slowly pumped on my cock, while picturing different things of him. His eyes, his smile, his body… He could drive me wild, especially the hot way he always bits his bottom lip. I was going at it furiously when there was a knock at my door. Another knock and I thought about Justin cumming and it was all that I needed. I bit down on my pillow and tried to be quiet. There were no more knocks so hopefully whoever it was thought I was sleeping.

An hour or so later I went into the living room and my Mom and Dad were on the couch snuggled up to each other. I felt a twinge inside, and I wished Justin was here so we could be like that. Not to mention for some reason I felt like I really needed to talk to him, not just for myself. I dismissed it as me just being overly clingy.

I went back to my room and watched some Kurao: Phantom Memory. But even watching that didn’t do anything for my nerves. I paced my floor for a little bit and let myself wonder why Justin might be grounded. I knew him well enough to know he wouldn’t do anything that serious. At least I was pretty sure. It took me a full week before he’d ditch school with me. As I was pacing my Mom opened the door and came in.

“Hey you, I was letting you know we’ll be eating soon, so wash up and come down.”

I did as she said and went down to the kitchen. I helped set the table then sat down in my chair. As usual the dinner proceeded like always. We talked for a few minutes, then started eating. It was when I was eating that a weird feeling crept down my spine. I couldn’t pinpoint it, but you know that feeling when you wake up, and youjust know something is going to happen? That’s what it was. I felt sick and couldn’t eat.

“I’m not really hungry, I think I’m going to go lay down.”

“Are you ok honey?” My Mom asked.

“Yea, I just feel a little sick, maybe I ate too fast?”

“Ok honey, call if you need anything.”

I went to my room, and when I laid on my bed I felt like crying, I don’t know why, but I felt so alone and I couldn’t grasp it. Justin filled my thoughts and I couldn’t get him out of my mind. I decided to try one more time to talk to him.

I called his house, the phone rang a couple of times then Justin’s Dad answered again.

“Hello?”

“Hi, may I speak with Justin?”

“Didn’t you call earlier?”

“Well, yes…”

“Well, the answer is the same.” Again he hung up on me.

I’m starting to think Justin’s Dad is mean! Jeez. But the feeling seemed to go away, after a few minutes. I shook my head at my silliness then laid on my bed.

Justin

I looked at the scissors and the thoughts that followed incited a mental riot within me. Do I do it? Do I kill myself, all it would take is a plunge right into the heart, or a stab into my liver. I shook my head, and instead of casting the thoughts from me I felt my hand twitch. I licked my lips, contemplating, do I do it or do I go to the kitchen? I got up and walked to the desk and grabbed the scissors.

I looked into the mirror and what stared back was not me. My eyes were crazed and glassed over as if I was being controlled by something else. I opened the scissors and ran a blade across my palm to see how sharp they were. When a small line of blood trickled out I had my answer. I gripped them and was raising them away to gather enough momentum to plunge them into my liver when the phone rang.

I snapped out of my trance like state and blinked at myself. I set the scissors down and picked up the phone, its display let me know it was Billie’s house. I waited for someone to answer, when it quite ringing I picked up the phone and listened. It was Billie! My Dad was talking to him.

My spirits came back a little at his voice, even more when I found out he had called already. My Dad was an asshole to him and it made me hate him that much more. I was near tears when my Dad hung up. I could have said something before Billie hung up but I didn’t want to get caught. I looked at myself and glared at me. What the fuck had I been thinking, If I had done what I wanted where would that have left Billie? I loved him too much and I guess I needed the reassurance.

I threw the scissors into my closet and walked out into the hallway. The smell of Beef stroganoff filled my nostrils and made my stomach growl in anticipation. In the kitchen it was like all of our dinners. We sat quietly, and looked at our food, while my Dad slammed back five beers in about 10 minutes. I had a bad feeling, it was never good when he drank this much.

Dinner went as usual and by the end of it he was drunk, stupid, and aggressive. He went in stages. Right now he was in his stage I call happy obnoxious. He was overly excited and nice, while at the same time abusive. He hit me in the arm and said I did a good job in the yard.

My Mom noticed his behavior and did what she did to get him to not hurt us. She looked at him in that way then said she wanted to go to bed. I knew what she was really implying and it sickened me. I knew her trick and why she did it. He’d follow like a dog after meat and once he got what he wanted he would pass out and leave us alone. But I felt bad I knew she was doing it mostly for me, so he wouldn’t hurt me. I couldn’t imagine having sex with someone so fowl, my Dad wasn’t bad looking I gave him that much but he was such a pig personality wise, and he treated her so bad it must have been so awful for her.

That night I tossed and turned from a nightmare. I was standing in front of the mirror again, but this time the phone didn’t ring. I saw my reflection as the scissors stabbed into my liver, blood splashed out everywhere, and I began to pale. My eyes clouded over and my pupils opened.

I shot straight up to the alarm and was covered in sweat. I was so drained and was so not ready for school. When I got in the bathroom I saw my face. My left cheek was bruised, and I mumbled to myself. I started thinking of a cover story. I decided on the “I ran into a wall” one.

At school I ran into Billie, he looked at me and his smile faded. “Oh my fucking goddess! What happened?”

“I was stupid and ran into a wall, in the process I knocked my Grandmas Urn off the table and it broke. It’s a good thing her ashes were in a bag or else I would have been grounded twice as long!” I lied, flawlessly like always, and felt terrible about it. I didn’t want to lie, but at the same time I wanted to shield Billie from it.

“You should be more careful! At lunchtime I’ll kiss it all better!” He smiled at me and I couldn’t resist but to smile back. When I’m around Billie I just feel, I don’t know like, at total peace as if nothing could ever go wrong if he’s there by my side.

The bell rang and I headed to my homeroom and sat down. When the teacher turned towards the class he seemed to jump and looked at me suspiciously. I seemed to rot inside at the thought of him asking me what happened. I hated lying even if it was to, Mr. Chadwick. He gave us 20 minutes to look over our notes before passing out the quiz.

I was pretty sure I’d get at least a 85% on it if not better, and was happy when we started grading them. The usual routine took place, we all passed our papers to the person in front of us. I marked with my red pen on the wrong answers on Katrina’s paper. She only missed 3 giving her 97%. I passed it back to her and got mine. I missed 3 as well and was happy.

The bell rang and Mr. Chadwick told us to bring our graded quizzes to his desk. As I got to his desk he asked me to wait at my desk. I walked back to my desk and sighed. My bones seemed to quiver, and my stomach felt like it was being twisted and knotted. When the last person left the room he shut and locked the door and sat on the desk next to mine.

“Hi Justin.” He seemed unsure what to say, then cut to the chase. “What happened?”

I froze up, and stuttered. “I… oh I ran into a wall… I was really hyper cause I got a new game and my mom called me and I looked back an wham! Right into the wall…” I chuckled, “Stupid of me ehh?”

“Justin, is there something your not telling me? You know if you got in a fight with a student, or if perhaps one of your parent--”

“Oh no, I swear I just ran into a wall… I am really clumsy, seriously that’s all that happened.”

His foot started tapping like it did, and he looked me straight in the eyes. “I’ll believe you, but if you ever need to talk to someone Justin, all you have to do is ask ok?”

“Ok Mr. Chadwick, but it’s not necessary I really did just run into a wall.”

“Ok then, I’ll write you a late note.”

I wanted to run into Billie but as I had to stay in my class for my little talk with Mr. Chadwick he must have thought I was already in my next class. I went to my Literature class and started reading the next chapter of Hemmingway’s “The Old Man & The Sea” I was getting to the part where the sharks came to eat his catch, when the bell rang. I set my book down and looked up. My teacher, Mrs. Donaldson looked at me in the eyes and I sighed knowing all too well there was going to be another “I’m here for you” talk.

I packed up my book and basically just went slow. As the room emptied I finally had my backpack on my shoulder. Mrs. Donaldson happened to be the school counselor as well. She always liked trying to get in my head, and this was going to be an even harder attempt to.

I started towards the door hoping, but she stopped me. “Justin, could we talk for a minute?”

“O… Ok.” I sighed slightly, and she looked over her glass rims.

“What happened?”

“What do you mean?” I said trying to play dumb.

“Your face Justin, what happened?”

“Oh I was dumb and ran into a wall. My Dad called me just as I reached my doorway and I looked back and ran right into the wall. Heh, stupid of me ehh?”

“Are you sure that’s what happened?”

“Yes I wouldn’t have said so if I wasn’t sure. It was a stupid accident and now everyone has to ask if I’m alright. I’m fine.”

She walked over to me and put her hand on my shoulder. I was never a touchy feely person, and even less so since one dreaded day. I flinched and pulled away. Usually I could control it, but I didn’t want to feel anything, and her touch alone sent so many emotions through me. All I wanted at this point was to be numb. She stepped back away from me when I asked her not to touch me. She gave me this look and it seemed she was dissecting me, while analyzing and reading more out of it.

“I would like to have a session with you today, I’ll speak to Mr. Sanchez about you missing his Spanish class today. Be at my office at your 5th period.”

I yelled at myself in my head, all the names he called me, stupid, mistake, worthless. I looked to my feet and gave in to her demand. “Ok… see you then.” I said and I quickly left. I think she said she was going to give me a late pass as I bolted out the door. I just wanted away from her.

Billie was waiting for me outside the door, I ran passed him and didn’t even know it. He called out my name, and ran over to me. “Is there something wrong Justin? You’ve been acting weird today.”

“No… I am just a little stressed, and I was hoping I didn’t miss you like last period. We ditchin’? If we are I have to be back, Mrs. Donaldson is on my case about seeing her during my fifth period.”

“Sure, we’ll come back after lunch.”

“Actually, let’s grab something today before we go. I’m kinda hungry.”

“Ok,” Billie said and we walked into the cafeteria.

In line a few people looked at me, some pointed, and others just went about their daily routines. I hated all the scrutinizing eyes that seemed to be watching me with a hawks perception. I grabbed a slice of pizza and fries. Billie got some of the Soft Tacos and a burrito.

“Craving Mexican huh?”

“Yup! Always!” He smiled at me.

We got to the cashier and paid for our stuff then walked towards the side gate of the school. As we left school property I felt a little less preoccupied.

“So how are you today?” I said to Billie. He smiled at me and seemed to make my heart melt.

“I’m good, but to tell the truth Justin, I’m worried about you. I don’t know why I just feel like you need to tell me something or, that you need my help, but you keep clamming up on me.”

“Seriously, I’m fine…” I looked at my feet, and tried gathering up any bit of happiness in me, then looked up at Billie and gave him my best grin.

“If you say so Justin.” Billie said. We walked silently to the park. We sat at a bench and ate in silence as well. We’ve had our silent times but this wasn’t like the usual. That comfortableness wasn’t there.

I nibbled at my pizza, and decided I wasn’t as hungry as I had thought. Billie had eaten a taco but was basically just staring at his food as well. I hated this, it shouldn’t be awkward to be around each other. I sighed quietly to myself as I thought about my Dad and my life altogether. Billie cut into my thoughts however, “Justin, please tell me what’s wrong. I know you don’t want to for some reason, but I need to know what’s bothering you.”

I looked at him and felt horrible, he looked almost lost. I looked at the table I couldn’t look at his eyes, they just made me want to break down and sob it all out. I kept telling myself it was for his benefit to not know. Deep down I think it was plain fear in truth. After all I was just stupid, worthless and a mistake… surely he’d see that, and he’d see the same weakness as him and he’d hate me. It was so irrational but my Dad’s voice plagued me day and night with his harsh words filled with venom.

“Did I do something Justin?”

“Of coarse not, I just… I’m fine I swear! Ok?”

“Justin…” Billie said, and then he looked at the ground. “Did someone hurt you?”

A piece of me cracked at his question, I felt it, deep within. He asked me straight out, and it was hard enough to lie to him, but if I did this time it would be blatantly. I looked at the ground and thought about his question. Memories came back, I remembered every punch, shove, kick, and name. Then the one thing that really killed me, so long ago. I had tried forgetting, to move past it, to smother it in denial, but that feeling of dirtiness washed over me and sent my skin crawling.

I looked up at Billie and he looked me straight in the eyes. I looked back to the ground and wished that I had never let myself feel again. He stood and walked behind me then sat next to me. He leaned against me and kissed my shoulder. The feeling I got was not what I ever expected, but it made me insecure and I felt filthy.

I fought the feelings, he would never be like James I knew that, but I always had that fear, that I’d be hurt in that way again. I still couldn’t accept it even though it had been two years since James-A family “Friend”-had taken my blind view of the world and shattered it to reveal the ugliness and blackness that the world held. In that one night when tears and laughter fucked in my bed.

Could Billie ever love me if he knew that dark secret? That I was ravaged body and soul, shredded to pieces, and left there all alone to slowly decay? He just didn’t need to know…

“I’m fine really…” I said. I felt myself tremble as I lied to him.

“Ok Justin, if you say so. I’ll believe you…” He hugged me and his hand found a tender spot on my side. I flinched and held my breath, hoping he wouldn’t notice.

“So how long are you grounded?”

“I don’t know, he was pretty mad.” I said

“Well I hope it’s not too long, think he’ll let you talk tonight?”

“Probably not, he takes groundings very seriously.”

“Hmm we’ll have to figure something out. WAIT! That’s it!! Think he’d let you off if you had to get a team project done? Let’s say for World History?”

I had never thought of that. It sounded really good, but if he found out the truth… it would be the end of me. In the end I found it to be a good idea anyway.

“We should try, I’ll tell him when I get home, and you can call around 5:30 what’s the report on? Wait I’ve got it. As to not stray too far away we’ll say it’s about the WWII, the allied powers, and the axis-powers. We just finished a quiz and I’ll have to do a report soon anyway. Did you get World History last semester?”

“Yes.”

“So you remember about the WWII and Hitler’s New Order?”

“Yup! So it’s all set?”

“Yes!”

“Well if we are going to get back before the lunch bell we really should get going and pretty fast. You ready babe?”

I smiled at him and this time it wasn’t a cover smile.

Chapter Four

Billie

When I woke up I was half expecting to be in my room, in my bed and in a reality where all of this hadn’t happened. But when the sunshine flooded my eyes and I looked across from me there was Justin. He was smiling in his sleep, as the sun shined through the screen window and illuminated him. He had called me an Angel last night in the showers. But as I looked at him I thought of him the same way. Maybe not angelic so maybe he was a fallen Angel looking for his way. His eye liner was almost gone I never really liked guys who wore eye liner but it worked on him.

I wanted to crawl on top of him and kiss him awake but a familiar smell filled my nostrils. It sent a growl from my stomach. Bacon! (No it’s beggin’ strips!! J) I decided to be daring however and I leaned over him. He looked so beautiful to me, almost like he was glass and I could break him. I don’t know why but I always felt that from him, like he was so fragile, yet he was always so tough on the outside. He stirred as if he felt my presence. I took my opportunity and leaned in. My lips met his just as he began to stretch and yawn. His eye’s shot open, but then he smiled and pulled me against him.

I wanted to lay there all day holding each other and basking in the love he wanted to give but we had to get up. I rolled off of him and he stretched again. Even when he stretches he’s irresistible his back arched and his shirt raised up showing off his growing happy trail, his waistband was loose and showed off the top of his cheeks. I felt myself stiffen. I blushed when he looked over at me and he smiled.

We laid there for a little while not saying anything just laying there. It was strange I didn’t think I’d ever be comfortable enough around anyone to be this silent. My Dad knocked somewhat on the tent and said it was time to get up. We got out of the tent and sat down around the bench with my parents. My Dad was flipping some bacon on the griddle my Mom sipped on some coffee that they probably made with that weird bubbler thing. I always liked watching them make it with that strange thing. Justin yawned and flipped his bangs out of his eyes.

“Such pretty blue eyes you have Justin! You really shouldn’t hide them!” My Mom said.

Justin blushed a deep shade of red and coyly said thanks. I almost giggled and nearly said he was adorable but right before it left my lips the bulb flashed in my head, you could say. After breakfast which consisted of eggs and bacon we woke up all the way. The water brushed against the shore and some hawks above cawed my Mother pointed at them everything seemed so perfect. But even though Justin still had a strange look in his eyes and face. He always seemed so troubled or deep in thought.

I looked at him, wondering what he could always be thinking about, it worried me. When I’d see him looking out into oblivion almost like he was trapped in his head. I caught my Dad’s glance, his eyes met mine for a minute and sent a chill of panic through me. His eyes seemed to ask me what I was doing. As if he saw my feelings for Justin in my stare. Justin looked over at me and pointed behind my Dad.

“Look a squirrel!” Justin said.

I turned to look and so did my parents, sure enough there looking at us was a squirrel. It watched us as we watched it, then scurried away. After awhile I asked if Justin and I could go for a hike. My Mom as always was worried and wanted us to take my Dad along. My Dad said it was ok if we went alone however.

My Dad gave us some fake snow, you know the canned kind. So we could mark a trail in case we got lost. Angie said she needed to run to the store and would be back in a little. My Dad wondered to the showers and we left in another direction.

Once I thought we were far enough out of sight from the camp I grabbed Justin’s hand. He stopped in mid-step and looked at our hands, a smile grew on his face and we started walking again, out of nowhere Justin started singing.

“I’ve got a crush on a pretty pistol, should I tell him I feel this way?”

I jabbed him in the ribs, “That’s not a good song for love. Heck you didn‘t say it right either.”

“Ha, give me a break, it’s not like I listen to lovey-dovey music, Manson’s Love Song is all I got! Plus I don‘t like girls. So ‘him‘ is better than ‘her‘.” He smiled and laughed.

We walked further down the trail and Justin sprayed some leaves. He stopped in mid step and said “Whoa!”

I looked at him and my curiosity took over. “What?”

“Is that Nick… and Jimmy?” he said in disbelief, I looked over and saw what he was looking at.

“Wow I wonder if we look that hot kissing?” Justin said

“Hey!” I said as I elbowed him. “Ya perv!”

“And you weren’t thinking the same Mr. Tent-Pants?”

I looked down and blushed. “Ok so maybe I was, who would have thought though?”

“Not me, that’s for sure!”

“Well shall we go on?” I said. Right as I finished Jimmy saw us and his eye’s bulged. His face paled and Nick turned to see what caused his reaction. His mouth fell open then his face burned red.

He walked up to us and was acting confrontational. Justin just had a huge smile across his face. Probably as Jimmy had given Justin so many problems.

“You didn’t see anything trash!” Jimmy directed at Justin. Justin cringed inwardly, I could just tell. On the outside he maintained his composure. His lips grew wide and raised in the most wicked of wicked smiles.

“Really to me it looked like you had your tongue halfway down Nick’s throat, digested field rat.”

I laughed, Jimmy always called Justin Trash, for white trash, yet Justin always came back with something else.

“I swear to God I’ll beat you until your dead Trash!”

“Lot’s of witnesses you sure your up to hot and hard prison sex little rich boy, plus when you didn’t beat me to death, because you couldn’t I’d tell every single soul in school what I saw. So instead of calling me trash, rich trash, why don’t you give me respect as I now have your soul in the palm of my hand, buboe.” Justin retaliated.

I just watched the expressions on Jimmy’s face, Nick looked sick. I felt bad for them but I knew Justin would never tell a soul even if he hated Jimmy, he’d feel too bad for Nick who was always neutral.

“I just swear!”

“Swear what? All I’m asking for is that you give me respect, which includes not calling me Trash, call it a forced truce. You leave me alone, I leave you alone, and your secret is safe.”

“How can I trust you?”

“You just have to, that’s all you can do now isn’t it?”

“Fine.” Nick said. He grabbed Jimmy by the hand and dragged him off.

“Wow! Babe seriously! Damn!”

Justin blushed at me, “Thanks, why don’t we go back? I bet your Mom is back and probably worried.”

“Yeah we should, come on” I said taking the point. We didn’t need the markings but we followed them anyway. When we got back my Mom was sitting across from my Dad at the bench. They were laughing and having a good time. I looked at Justin, he had a faraway look in his eyes. I couldn’t explain it, but he snapped out of it when my Mom spoke.

“Oh hey you two. Did you boys have fun?”

“Yes Mom! Looks like you and Dad are having a good time too.”

“Yes we are.”

The rest of the day was slow, we all just lazed around our campsite, my parent’s stayed near the bench, while Justin and I hung out under the canopy on our tent. A little before five we started to pack up the stuff. We packed it into the back of the van and and we left shortly after we finished.

On the way home we got off at Deer Valley and went to the waffle house for dinner. We sat at a table next to the bar and my parent’s sat on the bar stools next to the table. Justin’s hand met mine under the table. As the waitress walked over to us she smiled at us, it was then I noticed you could see under the table from her side. I blushed at her and Justin’s hand got clammy.

We all ordered our drinks and meals. Justin and I both got a burger, Justin got hash browns smothered and covered, and I just got mine smothered and peppered. As usual Justin and I ate like pigs and my parent’s slowly ate away theirs. The waitress came up to us with two milkshakes.

“On the house for you little studs.” She winked.

We said thanks in unison and she laughed. She filled my Mothers coffee cup back up and asked my Dad is he wanted a refill on his iced tea. After we were done with the milkshakes, my Dad left a big tip on the counter, we paid then left. It was just about a 20 minute ride home on the freeway. We dropped Justin off at home and he thanked my parent’s for having him along.

About 2 hours after we got home I got on the phone with Justin. We talked about nothing for about an 20 minutes, then he said he had to go. We had one of the “no, you hang up fights.” In the end it was Justin who lost.

The rest of my night went by fast as thoughts of Justin kept me occupied and happy. When my Mom did her routine check before I thanked her for letting Justin come on our family trip. She smiled and told me she liked him.

“He seems like a very nice kid. At first I was worried with how he was dressed. I won’t lie to you, that’s why I let him stay the night I wanted to see if he was ok. I trust your judgment but I wanted to be sure, but he is very nice. A little preoccupied sometimes but I think he’s a good kid. Sleep tight honey.”

“Night, Mom and Dad.”

When they closed my door I stripped down to my boxers and climbed in bed. I tried to sleep, but thoughts of Justin kept me awake. I wanted to see him there next to me. I wanted to feel his warmth and touch him, unrestricted.

My thoughts wandered to when we were in the shower. The steam surrounded us and his eyes glimmered it seemed. He looked so beautiful, his body filled my minds eye as my hand went under my waistband. I could feel my lips gliding over his body like in the shower. My hand was pumping my hardening dick, sending pleasure through me. My eyes traveled further down Justin’s image to his sexy hips, and his treasure trail. I could see him bite his lip, in the memory, and it excited me even more. My hand pumped faster on my cock and some fluids leaked out, it reminded me when his mouth covered me like a abyss of fiery pleasure. It was all I needed, as my body shivered from the overload, my penis expanded and erupted, the first squirt landed on my cheek the rest went on my stomach and groin. I laid there for a minute basking in the aftermath of my orgasm. Before I even knew it I was sleeping.

Justin

When I got home I waited before Billie and his parent's left before I opened the door. I knew my Dad would be waiting and because I hadn't come home I knew he'd be mad. Even if my Mom gave me permission I know who really has the only right to do so. I quietly stuck my key in the hole and opened the door. I heard the TV, some old western was playing which meant I had an hour or so before the confrontation.

I started for my room when he called. I walked over to him, preparing myself for what might come next, you could never tell completely with him. "Where have you been boy?"

"I spent the night at a friends."

"I know that, why were you gone? Did you get permission from me?"

It would be so easy to say yea, from Mom, but I knew that would just cause him to flip out on both of us. I braced myself as I let the fatal word leave my lips. "No... I'm sorry, I didn't think."

"Damn right you didn't think! What you think your a big man now huh? You live under my roof and I will know every move you make!” His fists began to ball up, and I felt sweat start to moisten my hands and forehead. His face twisted and began to get red. I felt myself dying inside, as his glare tore me to shreds. “Come here!” He said.

I took a step closer, he prompted me again, and I took one more step. “No boy, right here!” He pointed by his feet. I took the final two steps needed, “Closer, lean down I want to see your face.” a chill ran up my spine and the energy inside of me was going crazy. I wanted to cry already, as fear began seeping into my bones. I bent closer and in a blur of motion I felt as his knuckles slammed into my cheek bone. The force of the blow knocked me to the ground. He stood and looked down at me.

“Now look what you made me do!” He said Right as my Mom walked into the room. She looked at us an assessed the situation.

“Jason!! Why?”

“Go back to the room bitch! Your next!” He shouted at the top of his lungs. My face was throbbing and tears stained my cheeks. I couldn’t control them from flowing, I never could, and if I did it made it so much worse. He came closer to me and I backed away from him. I knew as I did it, it would only cause more pain, but everything inside of me screamed for me to get away. But my brain pleaded for me to stay still, knowing what the outcome would be.

“Jason, please! He’s just a boy!”

He lunged towards her and back handed her. Then shoved her into the wall. She let out a small cry as he held her by her throat. I froze in a panic then my brain clicked and I mustered up all of my courage. “Leave her alone!” I said, barely above a whisper. She heard me however and said no. Her eyes met mine, but I couldn’t let her get hurt. “Leave her alone!” I said a lot louder, and it even shocked me.

He turned and looked at me with a wildfire in his eyes. “What did you just say? You want to die boy?!”

My head shook involuntarily at his question but I knew it rhetorical. He let go of her and walked towards me. I got up and walked backwards from him. He kept advancing shortening the distance in every stride. I found myself pressed against the wall. He grabbed me by the arm and swung me into the wall to me right. His hand met my face three of four times, each slap making my cheeks tingle in pain. A familiar taste filled my mouth, he grabbed me by the shoulders and pulled me towards him then he pushed me right back into the wall. My Mom grabbed him from behind and he swung around and hit her right in the head.

She fell to the floor and didn’t move. Sheer white panic filled me, cutting at my sanity. “STOP IT!! LEAVE US ALONE!” I screamed. His elbow hit my chest, and he threw me into the front door. The door knob rammed into my lower spine and I cried out in pain. He punched me in the stomach and it sent me to my knees.

I felt the pain on the back of my skull which caused my vision to got white. Everything went away. When I woke up my Mom was sitting on the couch, a huge black eye adorned her delicate face and she looked at me with tears in her eyes. She put her finger to her lips, my Dad snored in his chair. We both went into the kitchen.

“Oh my poor baby, are you okay?”

“Yea… are you?”

“Yes…” she said looking at the ground.

“Mom why don’t we just call the police, he’s sleeping, the cops would come and take him away. He’d have to stay in jail a full night and that would give us enough time to get out of here.”

“We cant Justin! You know that… I know he’s mean when he’s drunk but we just have to deal with it. I’m afraid he’d kill us if we did what you suggested.”

“Mom, please, he’s gonna kill us if we don’t.”

“I just… I can’t.”

I understood her fear but at the moment I was sickened by her. We could end this and be free but she never would. I got up and went to my room. Right after I closed my door our phone rang. I picked it up and it was Billie. I talked to him for just a little bit. I knew if he woke up, he’d kill me for not having his ‘permission’ to talk on the phone. So I talked for a little bit then told Billie I had to go. I tried keeping my pain out of my voice, it wasn’t too hard, not with talking to Billie. His voice alone seemed to be like an endorphin pumping in relief and happiness, if only for a moment. When I hung up I tried laying down but I just hurt too much.

I knew what song I wanted as I lay there numbing myself. “I want to disappear” By Marilyn Manson. His lyrics seemed to be perfect for my life. I silently song along, “Hey we love the abuse, because it makes us feel like we’re needed now, but I know, I wanna disappear.”

I sighed out loud and hugged myself trying to make it from hurting inside so much. Every time he did this to us I could feel myself dying, like a void buried deep within, taking over slowly, eating me whole. Everything seems so broken, as if I was inside an oblivion of blackness. I wanted to cry, scream, kick, punch, claw, die, and kill at the same time. I wanted to cry out my frustration while shoving my fist down his throat and watching him gag to death.

I looked at the clock, it read 9:01. I rolled onto my aching back and found my spot. The spot on my roof, was so small you wouldn’t see it without looking for it, but I could always find it. I focused on it and let my mind shut off. I watched it grow from a tiny spot into everything in a second.

When I snapped out of it, it was because my Dad. He was standing above me, “What the fuck is wrong with you, I’ve been yelling at you for almost ten minutes! I swear to God boy if I have to take you to the hospital your dead!”

I blinked my confusion at him, for ten minutes? Usually when I space out on my spot I hear right when my door opens. My Dad hit my leg and told me to get to sleep because I had a long day tomorrow. When he left my room I sighed out of relief and to relieve the stress. A long day? Great! I looked at my clock and nearly jumped out of my skin. It plainly read 12:43.

He woke me at 5AM. My head throbbed and my body ached. I stumbled out of bed, did my business, then he shouted telling me I had five minutes to be dressed. I decided just to leave my clothes on that I had slept in. I already knew what was coming next. Yard work, he always made me work the next day after supposedly disobeying him. It was all about control and I knew that.

First was pulling weeds, then raking, mowing, the weed eating. After I re-raked I picked up the piles of grass. Then it was onto the porch, then the garage. By 2 I was so worn out, and my stomach was threatening to eat itself. My mouth was dry, he dragged me out front while he sat in a chair and ate a sandwich and drank a glass of hot cocoa. I peered at him now and then daring a glare. When I was done with the front he made me do our alley way area with the weed eater. Finally he let me rest.

My muscles screamed with joy when I hit the warm insides of my house, my Mom had a sandwich, chips, and a cup of cocoa for me at the table. I sat down and inhaled the nourishment. I went to the living room and asked if I could take a shower.

He grunted a yes at me. I walked down the hall and stripped down. I got in the shower and let the warm water cascade down my body. I sighed a long time as my muscles relaxed. I washed the dirt from me then got out and dried off. I wrapped the towel around me and went to my room. I got into some nice clean clothes and sat on my bed. Without even knowing it my brain went blank, and my vision left.

Usually I controlled when I zoned out, but it took me without my knowledge. I would later find out it’s a sort of survival mechanism, so the brain doesn’t have to process it all. I was snapped out of it again it was from pain caused by him

I felt the sting of his hand on my face “What’s wrong with you, you fucken mistake? This is the second time you’ve not responded to me!”

“I… I don’t know.” I was scared, I was losing time, and I was afraid of him hitting me again. I felt a tear drip down my face he scowled at me and shook his head.

“Fucken sissy boy, I refuse to have a retarded cocksucker as my son!” He said as he walked out of my room.

Eventhough he was gone the tears still kept running, I couldn’t stop them. I sat there for an hour if not longer and still the tears flowed constantly in a river down my face. By dinner time my Mom came in my room for me. She found me there on the edge of my bed in the same condition.

“Oh Justin, baby what’s wrong?”

I looked at her, and I wanted to stop crying but I just couldn’t something inside of me broke and it wouldn’t fix itself. She sat next to me and her arms wrapped around me. “baby please tell me what’s wrong.”

“I-I…” I wiped at the tears but that didn’t help any. “I don’t know, I just can’t stop crying… I just… it hurts so much inside I can’t… not anymore…” then a thought hit me. What if, just what if I killed myself? I could end all this pain, all the abuse, she always said he was so nice when I wasn’t alive, maybe I was the problem. The tears stopped, as if whatever was broken fixed itself finally. “I’m sorry Mom, I’m ok, really. I don’t know what came over me.” I upped it more and made myself excited, “So what’s for dinner? I’m so hungry!”

She looked at me as if I might be insane, she had a concerned face but she said, “Beef stroganoff.”

“My favorite!” I beamed - it was after all.

“I know, honey I made it just for you since you had to work so hard today.”

“Thanks Mom! I’ll be down in a minute.”

She left my room, I looked over at my desk and saw the scissors. A thought entered my mind as she closed the door.

My First Love
Chapter Three

Justin

I woke up to a knocking. At first I was a little dazed, but then it flooded back. As reality became real and not just a dreamy state I noticed the warmth flowing from Billie into me. Our bodies were tangled together, in a mess of flesh, boxers, boners and the sheet we had been laying on. His morning wood was pressing into my thigh and made my hard on more painful. I jerked a little and looked at the door when all my senses came to me.

Billie laughed at me. “My Mom quit coming in my room when I started getting morning boners.”

“Your lucky, butthead.” I leaned into him and kissed him on his lips, then said, “Not as lucky as me however.” I bit my lower lip automatically. I hated when I did that but it always happens when I’m nervous.

“We should get dressed. I’ll use the downstairs bathroom you can use the one across the hall. There’s shampoo in there as well.”

“Ok.” I said and grabbed my clothes. Billie opened the door and walked out. I wasn’t nearly as brazen as I peeked around each way then ran to the bathroom a crossed the hall. I always felt strange taking showers elsewhere than home, but I managed. I cleaned the rest of whatever was left from last night, washed my hair and used some mouthwash I found. I got dressed and went back to Billie’s bedroom to put my dirty clothes away.

I found my way downstairs and Angie told me he was still taking his shower. I sat at the couch and waited for him. Billie’s Dad sat on a recliner and read the paper. I said hi as he sat down and he said hi back. For being older Billie’s Dad was pretty hot. He looked like an older version of Billie, but Billie had his Mom’s eyes. I on the other hand looked very mixed. My hands were like my dads, short and kind of stubby. But I had my Mom’s long arms and legs. My Dad’s eyes and my Mom’s cheeks. Then my red hair was an anomaly they both had black hair, but mine was red. I was told I got it from my Father’s Father.

I was getting antsy when the door finally opened and Billie came out. He gave me a smile that weakened me inside. Around him I feel so vulnerable as if he could pick me to pieces just by looking at me. It gave me comfort as well.

Angie called all of us into the kitchen for breakfast. She had made pancakes, eggs and bacon. Billie and I scarfed it down like the wild animals we were. Angie was pleased that we enjoyed her cooking. We rinsed our dishes then went to Billie’s room. We were in the middle of playing Splinter Cell when Billie’s Mom knocked at the door. She opened up the door and told me my Mom was on the phone. She handed me the phone.

“Hello?”

“Hi honey. Did you enjoy staying the night with your friend?”

“Yes, it has been fun.”

“Well good. Angie told me they were planning a trip to the lake and asked if it would be alright for you to go with them. I said ok as long as you want to.”

“Yes that would be so cool! Thanks Mom!”

“Your welcome honey. I’ll be over in a little bit to bring you some swim trunks and a change of clothes.”

“Ok, see ya then mom!” I said, then hung up. “Thanks Angie!”

“Your welcome.” She said and smiled at us. She left and Billie asked what that was all about and then I told him. “I swear your Mom must be psychic.”

“Heh, she’s a Mom, they all have a sixth sense!”

A few hours after lunch everything was packed we were headed to Lake Pleasant. It was a fun yet boring ride. It takes about half an hour to get there but the whole landscape is desert. Nothing but Saguaros and other cacti.

When we finally got there, we paid at the entrance for a camp spot then went and found one we liked. We got one close to the shore. After all of us finished unloading the car and set up the tents we went and changed in the bathrooms. We hiked down the trail and to the water. Billie and I spent most of our day in the water. His parent’s weren’t too interested as the water was freezing. Once we were cold enough we got out and we all hiked back up the trail. Billie’s Dad threw some burgers on the grill. As usual when the food was done Billie and I inhaled it.

After dinner we all hung around the bench and talked. It was fun being with them. Angie and Billie’s Dad were nice. I could see where Billie got it from. I bet half the kids at school have rude and mean parents. Everyone is so preoccupied with popularity, money, and power. I think the most profound people are the ones who do everything for the greater good and ask nothing in return. A true good person like Billie and his family. If only everyone was so pleasant.

A little after 9 Billie’s parent’s got in their tent and went to bed, before going Billie told them we were going to go to the showers so we didn‘t smell like fish. I had cigarettes in my backpack and pulled out two. It had been too long. Billie and I went to the showers soon after his parent’s rhythmic breathing told us they were asleep.

We stood outside the showers and smoked our cigarettes then put them out with some water from the fountain. Even if it was cool we didn’t need to start a wildfire. The shower rooms have two stalls instead of using different ones we both go in the same one. It was strange taking a shower with someone else. The last time I had done this was when I was 4 and my brother lived with us. This was different than that as well. Billie rubbed the soap over my belly from behind me. His penis rubbed against my butt and sent chills down my spine. This contact was so new, and felt so good. I never wanted it to stop. He worked his way lower down into the beginnings of a happy trail, then inched lower again. He was rubbing soap right into my pubes, his fingers daringly explored lower to the base of my cock. Which was now hard and twitching. His lips found the back of my neck, his lips sent shivers through me. And the contact made my skin tingle.

I turned to face him. His hair was wet and mopped around steam was rising all around us and he looked so beautiful, like a heavenly vision. I wanted to worship him, ravage him, seduce his senses, and be one with him. I would give him my heart on a platter, my soul, body, and life if it came to it. His lips found mine and took away my breath. He pulled away and looked deep into my eyes. I became lost in the emotions in his eyes. I pressed my body against his and soaped up his back and butt while we kissed. I spread his cheeks apart and lightly ran my fingers down across his hole and back up. His hips ground into mine. We turned and his back was now facing the faucet. I rubbed the soap from his back, then he applied soap to my back.

The ritual continued, as we tenderly cleaned each other. The stimulation was so intense, and the feelings shook my world. I had seen it in videos before, and I knew I wanted to try it on him. I pulled back and smiled at him. He smiled back, and I guided his back to the wall. He leaned against it, and my mouth devoured his body, starting from his lips down. My next target was his jaw line, then lower to his neck. His breathing become more rapid as my lips covered his left nipple. It stiffened and I lightly pulled on the nub with my teeth. He grunted and grabbed a hold of my ass. I licked my way down to the middle of his stomach, it became a game, licking at his stomach and watching his muscles spasm from the contact. I moved on lower down to his navel, then licking lightly down his happy trail. My knees finally rested against the floor. He looked down at me, not knowing what my next move was, but I knew. My tongue crept out and reached the head of his cock.

He quivered and watched. I dove in more and buried my face next to his package. My tongue teased his scrotum then worked its way up his shaft. When I got back to his head I opened my mouth and took the head of his cock into my mouth. He shuddered and bucked, his hands clutched my shoulders as I took more into my mouth. I pulled back and sucked on him. His foreskin was strange to me, there was a lot and it was a strange feeling. But I decided I didn’t mind it. As I pulled almost off his foreskin followed, at the same time he quivered again, and his hips bucked. I did the motion again and got the same result. I smiled as much as I could with a cock in my mouth and played with that button awhile longer.

When I could tell he was close I focused my attention to taking more and pumping the rest with my hand. He started to grunt and moan, his hips bucked more often, I gagged a couple of times but got better at judging when to pull back more. His voice was so ragged when he told me he was about to cum. I kept up at it however, my hand reached for his balls. I lightly tugged and rolled them in my fingers, then with a hot noise his fluids flooded my mouth. Some dribbled out, some went down, and the rest got spit to the drain. I came up and kissed him and then he licked some of his cum from my chin. I was surprised when he did it, but somewhat turned on by it too.

“Wow Justin! That was… amazing!”

I blushed at his enthusiasm and giggled. “I’m glad you liked it.” I smiled at him and the most wicked of smiles grew on his face.

“Your turn!”

My First Love
Chapter Two

Billie

We walked back to my house, and as we rounded the corner I saw my Dad’s car pull into the garage. I pointed at it and told Justin. He looked over and seemed to fidget.

“What’s wrong?”

“Well it’s just that, well you know…” He said, and he looked more miserable.

“What? Come on tell me I swear I’ll try and make it better.” He bit his lip in that nervous way he does. It makes him that much more adorable to me. But something was also bothering him and I wanted to know what.

“Most parent’s have trouble dealing with me by my style alone. Throw in the fact that you can tell I’m no moneybags for sure. I hate when kids at school look at me like I’m trash, it’s worse when adults do it, especially the really old ones, like I’m going to mug or kill them or something…”

“I swear my parent’s won’t mind. They trust me with what I do, they will look at you and know you’re a good person because your hanging out with me.”

“If you say so Billie.” Justin said still seeming to be worried.

We walked into the front door and my Mom called out to me. Her usual welcome home call. “Hey Mom, I brought a friend over to hang out.”

“Come into the kitchen honey.”

We walked to the kitchen, my mom stopped preparing some food to look, she smiled at us. I noticed she did look Justin up and down for a minute, but then she just smiled. Meaning he passed her inspection. Dad rose his eyes above the paper and said hello.

“Hi Mr. Johnson, and Mrs. Johnson.”

“Hello--?” Mrs. Johnson said.

“Justin” Billie said.

“Nice to meet you. Are you new to the neighborhood?”

Justin clammed up a little at the question but recovered quickly and spoke. “No, I live a couple miles from here on Shelby, not far from 19 Avenue and Thunderbird.”

“I know the area, I am helping a woman, Mrs. Jacobs sell her house.”

“I know Mrs. Jacobs. She’s a nice old lady, has a lot of cats though.”

“That’s her for sure. Where in the area do you live?”

“Just a couple houses down from her house.”

“The one with red trimming or the blue trimming?”

“Blue.”

“I’ll have to ask your Mom how she keeps her rose bushes so nice I always admire them when I drive by.”

“Mom can Justin stay the night?”

“Well, first he needs permission from his parent’s but yes, I see no problem there. Justin honey call up your Mom and ask, after your finished I’d like to have a word with her though.”

“Ok Mrs. Johnson.” Justin said.

“Call me Angie dear, I hate Mrs. Johnson.”

“Ok, Angie.” Justin said while giving her his cute smile.

After Justin called his Mom, got permission, and asked for a change of clothes to be brought we went up to my room. We sat on my bed with my door shut. I dared to kiss him now and then, knowing any minute my Mom or Dad could walk in. But the fact that we could get caught excited me all the more. I couldn’t help it, I had been wanting to touch him, and feel his lips against mine. It was like a drug, and I needed my next fix. The ringing of the doorbell scared Justin and I, our lips parted with a little pop noise and we both giggled.

We ran down the stairs right as my Mom opened the door for Justin’s Mom. My Mom invited her in for a drink so she could talk with her. Justin got his clothes and we took them back to my room. We played a few games and then went back down. Justin’s Mom was getting ready to leave. She gave Justin a kiss on the forehead, and he blushed. I almost started laughing out loud. I’d get him later, he’d never live it down. He said goodbye to her and she left. My Mom informed us to be ready in a half hour for dinner.

I got an idea, and hoped Justin would be into it. He wouldn’t know what I really had in mind though not until I did it. “Hey Justin let’s go out back.”

“OK.’ He said.

We went out back and I tackled him. He yelped out from the surprise but then retaliated. Whenever I did this with my friend Brian he’d get a boner and I could cop a feel without him knowing. But this time I didn’t have to be sneaky to my partner, just to my parents. After about five minutes I felt what I wanted. Justin’s penis poked me in the stomach. I flipped him over and with my left hand I rubbed between his legs found my target and latched on.

Justin’s eyes bulged but then a grin spread across his face. As he did the same thing, instead of grabbing my penis he grabbed my nuts, and rubbed them softly. My hips nearly bucked from the pleasure it brought. I lost my thoughts under this condition, and when I felt a drip of precum work it’s way out I flipped him, and grinned. I held his arms down and sat on top of his thighs I leaned against him and our cocks rubbed each other as heattempted to struggle away. I wanted to buck into him from the pleasure our contact was bringing us but I stopped I knew better. I scooted off of him and sat in front of his bulge. So my parents couldn’t see anything out the window.

He blushed at me and I caught his gaze fixed on my bulge. I soaked in his image for a later use when I needed it.

“Nice bulge, sexy.” he said, inciting a blush to grow on my face.

We were just talking for awhile about nothing really just making chit chat. I was just absorbing him it was nice having him here, and I didn’t have to hide around him. It was just comfortable. We were interrupted by my Mom calling us in. By now we were completely soft again, well I was still a little hard but not enough to notice.

We all sat at the table, and the regular routine proceeded. “So Billie & Justin how was school today?” My Mom asked.

“Boring same old junk they say prepares us for the real world.” I smiled always giving a smart-ass answer before an acceptable one. “Actually I learned how to divide whole numbers into fractions, then in shop we put the hinges on our bird house lids.”

My Mother shifted her attention to Justin. “I got to first hour a little after the tardy bell, I thought the whole day was doomed but at lunch time they had pizza hut delivered, then in science we found out how the reproductive organs work in frogs next week we finally get to dissect.”

“Oh I hated the frog!” She exclaimed.

“Did you have to do a squid in 8th grade Mrs. I mean Angie?” Justin asked.

“No, but last year they told us parent’s they would be adding it to the course. With an alternative program that runs on a pc.”

“I think it might be cool to dissect it. A squid is so different from us I wonder if it has all the same organs or not, or like an air bladder.” I said.

“Ok, let’s talk about something else maybe?” My Dad said.

”How was work honey?”

“Same as usual, we got another major business account today, my design team starts on it’s new logo and commercials tomorrow. If we can keep them happy I will get a nice bonus.

Justin ate some of his stuffed chicken, and made a very loud ‘mm’ noise which got a huge smile on my Mom’s face.

“Heh, excuse me, but this is really good!”

“I’m glad you like it. Billie usually complains when I make it because he supposedly doesn’t like cheesy broccoli inside his chicken.” I smirked at my mom then took a big bite of mine. I switched to my green bean casserole.

After dinner we went up to my room. We again played more video games. Justin dominated Tekken Tag while I dominated with Mortal Kombat Trilogy We had been going at if for about an hour when my Mother and Father poked their heads in. Right as Justin killed Sub-Zero with Sindel.

“Oh yeah who got who?” Justin boasted. He gave me this very sexy smile and I gave him my cocky one.

“Hi Mom. Are you going to bed now?”

“Yes, try not to stay up too late you two.” My Dad finished.

“Good night!” Justin and I said in unison. My mom smiled at us, and closed the door.

Once they closed the door we waited for about 20 minutes. I lightly pushed Justin to the floor and sat on him like I did in the backyard. I looked down in his eyes, the desk lamp shinned in his eyes and created sparkling orbs. His skin was smooth, and slightly blushed from out contact. He had a very cute grin and looked so innocent, but it quickly disappeared when thoughts from earlier made my cock get harder. I put my hands on his sides and rubbed his stomach, chest. and sides. His member began to stiffen as well, his nipples got hard and were adding more to the erotic pleasure of looking at him in this state of arousal.

I leaned down, I used my elbows as to not crush Justin and let my body come in full contact with his. Our cocks were comfortably crammed together. I kissed his chin and neck then moved to his lips. His mouth opened and I invaded his mouth. Our tongues rolled around, tasting each other. Before I knew it we were both grinding our hips together. Justin’s hands roamed over me. Justin broke our kiss and pushed me upwards. He sat up with me then started pulling my shit up. I took it off the rest of the way then pulled his shirt up and off. As I threw his shirt behind me he leaned against me, my back met the bed as his lips attacked mine. Our flesh was now pressed into each others. I let his warmth invade me. My hands roamed over his flesh and his did the same to my lower back.

He broke our kiss and leaned back enough to reach my waistband he undid my belt, then the button. He leaned into my neck, and lightly sucked and licked right next to my adamsapple. His finger tips slipped down into my waistband. I stood up and pushed my pants down, I helped him up and he did the same. We got into the same position and he continued his expedition. This time he opened the button on the fly of my boxers. He looked in my eyes and I smiled at him. I kissed him to urge him on.

His hand went into the hole and found my rod. He squeezed it, then slightly jacked me. I felt some precum dripping out of my penis. His fingers came across the sticky liquid, with his thumb he rubbed it over the exposed part of my head. He pulled my foreskin back and spread it all over it. At this point he had my cock and balls out of the hole.

I wanted to explore him now, it was awesome having him play with me, but I wanted to check him out. I got off his lap and pushed him to the floor again. There was a small wet spot at the head of his cock, just under the waistband. I pulled his boxers down instead, I lifted his balls with one hand and put the elastic band below them. He was completely exposed to me. His penis twitched as if on cue to make a show for my exploring eyes. Unlike me he was circumcised, it was interesting to see, I grabbed a hold of his pole and let it go and heard it make a slap noise against his groin. I took hold of it again and pumped up and down on it. More precum oozed out and his hips began to writhe.

I laid down next to him and held onto his cock. I began pumping it again, and his hand found it’s way around my cock as well. We began pumping each other in unison. My arm controlled the speed. I wanted this to last as well so I went slow. We kissed while jacking each other, Justin turned his head up and breathed in then bit his lower lip to stifle a moan. I started pounding harder on his cock and my hips began to buck. I started kissing him frantically as I felt my balls pull up I grunted into his mouth and I felt my load flood out and spill down on my chest, then stomach, then down Justin’s hand into my pubes. It set Justin off and instead of grunting out he sucked in stealing some of my air while doing so. I felt his warm liquids cover my hand. They pooled a little at the base of my hand in his pubes. He had small spasms just as I did. I felt a smile get glued to my face. Justin cock slowly softened in my hand as we laid there catching our breath.

Justin leaned over and kissed me. He got on top and our cocks rubbed against each other. And our fluids mixed. He laid against me and made a bigger mess of our mess. We kissed for a little bit then I grabbed some new boxers out of my drawer for both of us, with our old ones we cleaned up the mess. We both fell asleep on the floor next to each other.

My First Love
Chapter One

Justin

It was the tenth of October and as always my friend Billie and I were excited about Samhain. It was the mark of the most spiritual day, and also marked the new year. When I got to school I found Billie in our usual spot. He pulled his coat closed as the chilly wind invaded.

“Hey Billie!” I said.

“Hey Justin what’s up?”

“Not much you?”

“Same.” I replied.

We hung out for the few minutes we had before the morning bell. As usual we ignored the first one and talked for awhile longer. We were making the plans for the upcoming ritual to be performed. When the second bell - the tardy bell - rang we headed to class.

I am glad I found Billie in this school. It seemed as if only yesterday I had gotten enrolled. Me, at a rich school. It was so new to me, all the kids with their cell phones, fat wallets and cocky smiles. Then there was me, thrown into the middle of preppy high, a goth no less to add to my problems even more. I sighed as I walked down the halls that first day. When I first saw Billie it was in our usual spot, he stood there, almost perfect. His white teeth shinning brightly and the sparkles in his eyes seemed to make him look almost holy. When he saw me a huge cocky grin grew on his face.

Then the thoughts plagued me, Oh great, I have to deal with kids like him… great! He walked up to me however, shook my hand and welcomed me. I was shocked to say the least, and maybe a bit stricken by his looks. His black hair with his pale blues eyes captivated me. His lips were so supple and soft looking and when he flashed that cocky grin again, I knew right then I was in for it. More thoughts plagued me, as always he just had to be straight. Most kids my age - and that would be 13 - can’t admit to themselves that they are gay, much less accept and openly gay teen. I heard those horror stories of coming out, and I sure didn’t want that, but at the same time I wanted to be free to express myself, just as anyone else can (I mean just as straight people, but I digress).

I walked in the door when the final bell rang. I looked at Mr. Chadwick his stern piercing grey and cold eyes crept over me. Sending chills down my spine, his foot tapped at the floor and he gave me the scowl that I just hated. His head shook back and forth with admonishment. “Late again are we Mr. Stevens… I’ve told you coming to my class late is not acceptable. This is your third and final warning. Come late to my class again and you will be sent to the hall for the duration of class and will be given zeros on that days class work and the home assignment.”

“Sorry sir. I will not be late again.”

“It’s Mr. Chadwick, get seated!”

I quickly sat at my desk, which I despised. Being left handed sucks, all the desks are made for right-handed people. Which made doing work uncomfortable and annoying. I grumbled to myself and pulled out my notebook and pen.

"Today we are learning about WWII. So pay attention we will be having a quiz sometime this week. Also get out a notebook, and pencil." I still wonder how ANYONE could get history for their first hour! It seems so evil, like a mass conspiracy to torture our poor zombiefied minds. I yawned audibly and got another scornful look from Mr. Chadwick. He shook his head in that disapproving manner that he seemed to love. The hour dragged by as always, inciting a mental riot in my head, The rioters screamed and pleaded for the hour to end so I could see Billie again.

Finally the bell rang, I packed up all of my stuff and handed the teacher my homework and in school assignment. “Now why can’t you apply yourself this well to getting here on time?”

“I’m sorry really. I woke up late today my alarm clock didn’t go off at the right time because it automatically switches an hour ahead, and since our state doesn’t do daylight savings well you get the point.”

“Sure…” He said then I walked out and started towards my class.

I was walking, or more like running towards my next class. I knew if I ran into Billie - which I wanted to - that I’d be late, or end up skipping it, and I was getting low on absences. Just as I was avoiding I ran right into him.

“Hey where are you going in such a hurry?”

"Hum lets see here, every time I meet up with you I'm always late and the teachers hate that. Also I need to take a major piss!"

"See your in too much of a hurry you've already passed the bathrooms. Also I'm headed that way too."

"Fine. Lets go, you win!" See this is the time Billie and I usually skip and hang at the park smoke a ciggarette or two. But he wanted to go home instead. Which was weird seeming we usually go back to school after lunch. That way you don't get caught skipping. We don’t how but it always seems to work. "Why do you want to go home?"

"Because school sucks and I want to just relax today and play some video games."

"Still what do I tell my parents when they ask why I wasn't at school?"

"Dude did you forget my aunt is the secretary. She will excuse us. DUHHH!"

"Fuck off pansy ass!"

"No thanks I've had better offers!"

"Yah, yah whatever, Billie. So what do you want to do at your house?"

"I don’t know I'll tell you when we get there." The walk to his house took us right past the park where we smoke. I had never been to his house before so I was excited to see where he lived, and his bedroom. I know perving on my best-friend I’m low. But these damn hormones take control I swear! I was amazed at the size of the houses. They looked like the ones you see in the magazines and I was nervous. This was much different than my middle class neighborhood. Everything was so clean and nice, like it just came out of the bubble wrap or something.

Billie must of seen the look as he started telling me about the different houses and owners and their dirty little secrets. He told me about The Johnsons, Mr. Johnson liked helping the 17 year old babysitter while his wife was at the crochet club. Or how Mrs. Botwin was the communities weed dealer (Got to love the show weeds :-D) We suddenly stopped and I looked up from my feet, or rather Billie’s ass. It was two stories, the front was a cylinder and the rest was squared. On top of the cylinder middle section was a balcony and under the front door. The house was framed with beautiful weeping willows and rose bushes.

I was shocked to say the least. How could three people live in a monster of a house like that. The entryway seemed to be bigger than my room. I was sure I was collecting flies with my mouth gaping open. It was nicely decorated inside, with a Victorian met with a modern flare.

Billie smiled at me, and my obvious shock. And in the sexiest voice I had ever heard from him he said, “This way sir, the Miss’s want’s me to give you the grand tour.” His somewhat cheap yet cute British butler voice was so adorable. After the tour we went to his room. He told me to sit on his bed while he hooked up the Playstation. When I sat my eyes wandered to Billie’s perfect bubble butt. I was ever so tempted to reach for it and squeeze but I knew that was not a good idea. I swallowed my lust and leaned back. When I put my hand against the bed I felt something under the covers. I knew the familiar feel, a magazine I was sure. I reached under the cover and pulled it out. Billie had just started to turn around when I pulled it from under the covers. His face paled and I wondered why. I looked at the magazine in my hand and felt my eyes bulge.

I looked at it and saw on the front a very hot looking guy with his lips firmly wrapped around another guys dick. It was my eyes turn to bulge. I was tempted to open it and look through it, but even I was too petrified to do that. Not yet willing to be that vulnerable. I put it down, and looked at my feet, I didn’t know how to approach it any better. I just kind of clammed up.

“Justin… I. Uh… I-I.”

“So what are we playing?” I tried changing the subject completely.

“Uh…” Billie’s eyes were red like he was about to cry, it was stupid - I was being stupid. This is what I had been dreaming for so long and now I was playing it off as I was dumb or something.

“Fuck it. Look I wasn’t supposed to see that, but I’m glad I did. It--”

“I’m sorry, please don’t tell anyone… I.”

“It doesn’t matter to me, because… I’m.” I couldn’t say it, it was too terrifying what if this was a test? But the look on Billie’s face, he was searching my soul it seems with those eyes that captivate my soul. It was as if instincts kicked in, and my consciousness became second to none. I leaned into Billie, he backed away and I crawled closer until our lips were centimeters apart. His sweet scent and warmth washed over me and I dove in. Our lips connected, so softly at first, they were barely touching. The contact sent chills through me, then our lips were forced together, mashing into each other. His lips parted and his tongue touched my lips. My mouth opened automatically and his tongue explored my mouth. The taste sent electrical stimulus through my lips and spine, and our tongues battled for supremacy.

When the kiss ended I felt my face burn with a blush, I couldn’t explain to myself how I had just kissed the boy I was falling for. I had actually kissed him, something I had only done in my dreams. I felt a smile work it's way across my face and saw Billie’s grin too.

“Wow…” Billie stammered he looked at me and giggled slightly, his grin grew even bigger. “I’ve never… that was… Wow!”

“Me either… I mean I always wanted to but… Whoa I’m sorry I didn’t mean to just jump on you like that I don’t know what possessed me, but I’m kind of glad it did!”

“Me too that was so hot!”

My face flushed a full 7 different shades of red I am sure.

Billie continued “I can’t believe you did that… I thought you were going to hate me and never hang out with me again.”

“Never would I. I couldn’t hate you…”

“Well we sure are going to hang out more often now!” His face was beaming with a smile that could weaken any heart.

Billie

I still can’t believe it! He kissed me! Me?! I wanted him so badly, and then he did, and how he did it, oh my god. I felt as if my heart was going to stop with the sensual way his lips lingered just away from mine, then he came in and I was lost in total bliss, it was nirvana. I was so hoping my ploy wouldn’t backfire on me, for a minute I was really worried. It was stupid of me, but look what I gained from it! Ever since I saw him that first day in school I knew I wanted him and no one else. He was so cute with that mischievous grin and confused look. His red hair, pale skin and blue eyes got to me. I just had a feeling I had to introduce myself. Ever since then we were best of friends. But now we're ‘better’ friends! I had it set up perfectly! I caught him in the halls like usual and had him come with me. See this is one of our daily routines go to the park smoke a ciggarette, bullshit then go back before the end of lunch. But today I needed to find out if he was gay. I had to, so I did so! I can't believe he kissed me like that though I was in heaven I wish humans didn't have to breathe if we didn't we could have kissed for hours which we did anyway. It was so magical, I can't believe Justin hasn't seen me checking him out before now. I was hoping he would say something and that would be how we found out. But I couldn't wait that long. It has already felt like an eternity! But I'm sure glad I did pull my little stunt! Look where it got me, right where I wanted to be, in Justin's arms. That felt so good, Justin and I feel asleep and awoke at 4:00 PM.

However I was startled by the fact it was four. My parent’s would be home in any second. I shook Justin awake. He grumbled at me, but then his eyes shot wide open and that dopey grin came back. I felt it infect me as well. We went out the back and walked down the alleyway. We took the long way around to avoid my parent’s usual route home. When we saw other kids walking home we turned and started walking back to my house.

We talked about the events that had happened today, and how wonderful it was. I wanted to grab his hand, pull him into me and kiss him passionately for hours, but I knew we couldn’t not right now. It would have to wait, sadly.